They are my past….. and they are my present….

My third post is about the women that influenced me to be who I am today. The list is not long, but it’s powerful.

The first place is shared by two without which my parents would not be and without them I would not exist either. My grandmothers.

First, I’m going to have write about my mom’s mom because she is not with us in this world anymore, she is on that other one and it she is watching over us every day. Mom’s mom was one of the most powerful women I knew. She gave birth and raised two beautiful and independent children, took care of her grandchildren, baked the finest cakes (she taught me all her culinary secrets) and was full of the wisdom that children need to learn today. Because of her I am my own person with my own thoughts and opinions (it was one of her advice “Honey, always have your own I”). We have had our fights, it was a clash of generation and my crazy hormones in those teen years, but again we loved and respected each other. I inherited from her the inner strength that still holds me in the toughest situations and the strength that I have for my own I, even if that my I goes on some people nerves and trust me it does very much, but hey I cannot change who I am.

My second grandmother, which is the total contradiction of the first one. Dad’s mom is one of the most wonderful people I know. She is a person who has no ugly word for anyone, no matter how much they deserve it. She is a person who will bake pancakes when her oldest granddaughter calls at 10 pm when she is returning from Zagreb, and she will bake 50 pcs for all of her grandkids. That grandmother is the one who greet you at the door with a hug and a kiss in her forehead, though almost all her grandchildren are at least 10 cm taller than her, smelling of freshly baked biscuits and boiled milk. She is a grandmother who will make you smile with only one sentence “My Most Beautiful Gold” (here and now I’ve just smiled just thinking about her). She who has the power of tolerance for all the nonsense of her nine grandchildren, my two tattoos, abdominal dance and pole dance, another granddaughters piercing on her lips, to our pants (which are just cool for us) and other nonsense we’ve made over the years. She still clogs my dad (he’s 53 and two grown-up kids) with a cloth when he does something wrong or says something wrong. The one who slams food on the plate because she’s afraid we’ll be hungry, and believe me in her house you can’t get hungry. She is the one who grows the sweetest strawberries and makes healthiest jams. The one who never complains and the one who has such a big heart that you just have to love her.

Those were my grandmothers, the ones who were born in the wrong but the simplest times, because if they were born into this time, believe me they would be doctors of science.
Now I will switch over to my two aunts.

Mama’s cousin, my half-aunt, though this half should not be in the front because in her behavior and job description she’s a real aunt. The guardian of secret, a divider of advice and help whenever I need them. The source of incredible strength and courage. A dragon woman. The queen, the emperor, and everything else packed in 157 (probably) centimeters or 5 ft   1 13/16 inch. She is always smiling and always cheerful, waving and dancing at 100 per hour. The one who has undergone 12 in vitro fertilization, a spontaneous abortion, a curettage and she has been doing it for the last six years. Also for the last four years her husband and she are in the adoption process, but no response from anyone. She has been through sticks and stones, but has not given up, and she exits from each of these losses even stronger and more decisive. The one to whom I invariably admire, because she showed me how to fight for something that you want. The one who knows the true meaning of the saying “When you fall just get up and try again.”
Now it is time for my daddy’s sister, my aunt. Same as my other aunt this woman is a dragon too.   About 5 years ago her husband and se lost their jobs in this country and we in a lot of debt, especially a credit for their house. This women got up and enrolled herself in to a language school. She learned one a new language, got a job in another country and left to work. She was in place where she didn’t know anybody or anything but she struggled and worked like a hoarse for her four children. She did not see her kids for months at the time and she also found her husband a job. She is still struggling and fighting and will probably do so until she retires. All of her kids are well raised and act older than their age. All of them are good students, who have jobs over the summer break and earn their own money. She taught them that, that money doesn’t grow on trees and that you need to respect every penny you have.  I admire her for that and I respect her so much, because like many strong women she does not give up.

And now the one who is the most important to me. Because of her I’m like this. Because of her I always say my opinion and do not care how much it cost me. I call her mom. The best mom in the world, you will now tell that I’m subjective, and I am, because my mom is the most powerful, the bravest, the most stubborn, and the best mom in the world. Although I did not always think so. While some alien took over my mind and my teen hormones, I thought she was the worst enemy I had to destroy. But I grew up and I did not think so anymore. Now I listen what she speaks to me without rolling my eyes. Because of my mum I’m a bit crazy, optimistic, always smiling (and this is going on peoples nerves, especially my clients at work have a problem with me smiling all the time). Because of her I know how to fight for me, I always go head first, even though the wall, and the wall always breaks first. Because of her, I am passionate about everything I do and because of her I love life. She always says life has no reinterpretation only the premier. She is the one who raised two children who stand firm on the ground but who know that their only limit is the sky. Because of her we do not just go under the star, but sometimes flies with him (even if only in dreams). Because of her, my brother and I, we are not afraid to dream and we do not think our dreams are unsuccessful. Because of this we are looking forward to the little things that make life more beautiful. Because of that, we are not afraid to live and enjoy life. Because of it we are unique and our own. Mom I love you.

2 thoughts on “They are my past….. and they are my present….”

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