While Hollywood is shaken up by one of the biggest scandals in the history of film industry with the main actors Harvey Weinstein and Dustin Hoffman, my blog in-box is shaken up by the genitals of an unknown man.
Category of message requests I avoid in a big circle and do not open it because every time I eagerly wanted to check if any massages were from the people who read my blog I found a few ridiculous, mildly disgusting messages from guys who sends disgusting messages to unknown girls and women.
“Hello babe, you are very sexy….”
“Wanna meet up? Netflix and chill?….” – these are a censured versions of a few I have gotten in a past few weeks.
First of all, I wonder how many percentages of women every day receive such messages, which are, to put it mildly, mentally raped, and how many of them do not talk at all with anyone about them.
Another thing that came to my mind was how many women would photograph their intimate parts of the body and send them to unknown men, under the assumption the man wants to see it?
Unfortunately, a few often really want and think that the situation is the same in both cases.
I opened the message in the inbox at three in the morning when I did not know who I was and where I was except for the damn neighbor’s dog deciding it would be cool to wake up the whole neighborhood with his barking. (In my defense I adore dogs, but this one got on my nerves a lot that week). He partly woke me up, and I, as an addict, have to know what is happening and to get a little out of the social networks I took my cellphone to check the notifications. In the dark, half asleep, without my glasses I had what to see. I was astonished, I managed to block the respective users and wondered if I could ever fall asleep while in front of my eyes hanged that unwanted photos!
I felt shocked, terrified and embarrassed!
Shock can be explained rationally, but embarrassment is a sensation that sexual manias and predators successfully pass on to their victims.
I felt that I was guilty because my social network profile exists at all, because I’m doing a job that allows anyone to contact me at any time, even to mentally rape me.
What is this society for us women in which we are educated and learned that we must feel embarrassed while men, who think they have unlimited power and freedom, can directly or indirectly abuse us?
What kind of society are we in which men are punished for abuse of women only when the public finds out because it became known and it got out, not because a woman was beaten or raped?
Unsolicited dick pics is a phenomenon that in a couple of words explains the unwanted sending of genitals on social networks to women who have not ask for it, and such behavior is considered sexual harassment.
What motivates men at all for such heinous ventures?
Women should be completely free to speak and write about sexuality without that being perceived as initiating a call for sex or serve as an excuse for sexual harassment.
I refuse to accept the fact that some men are excited by women’s fear, disbelief and shock, but in detail reading every segment of the Hollywood scandal I realize that such individuals are everywhere around us, mostly in good positions.
Such “guys” whose sexual harassment triggers excitement are hidden behind capital, network, power, and screen.
This is nothing new for my country either. We have witnessed one such scandal and tragedy few weeks ago where the victim was even abused by the media.
“Will the same fate meet me as well?“ thought my uncertain I.
Certain I said: “You do not gave a f**k about it. “
But it is also possible that this will get out of context because a woman has to watch what she writes, speaks and how she behaves, because if it gets out of context, she ends up under the denomination “bitch herself asked for it”.
Public discussion about sexual or any other abuse should start with us women who will speak up without delay what happen to us, our friends, sisters, work colleagues … We need to stand together in the fight against systematic discrimination!
In a society that is pointing a finger at the victims of the worst move is to act according to the principle that a woman is to a woman – a man.
Sending provocative, more specifically heinous photos does not end with the affair between the one who sends the message and the person who reads it. Sending these photos has nothing to do with sex, it’s about power. Feeling of power for the individual who has forced you to something you do not want. This shift act is the same as the so-called catcalling.
Men do not do this because they can (we can women can howl too after handsome guys that walk pass us on the street!) But because society decided it was all right to do so.
By moving the boundaries for every person who is a potential abuser, they are testing the social climate to which bounder they may and should go while curing their own sexual frustrations – today they are sending explicit photographs, tomorrow rape.
For this reason, victims and other women must find strength in themselves to get rid of the fear of criticisms and finger-pointing, by informing men that it is a common struggle for the right to have the freedom of choice.
* If you do not want to remain silent about violence against women, share this text on social media.
**The pictures were taken on google image’s, when a do a photo shoot for it this week I will replace them with my own 🙂 .
3 thoughts on “I won’t keep quiet about harassment of women, you do not either.”
Hi! I read your post and as a man I can't image how hard this is for you, dealing with this kind of behavior so often. I support you and thank you for writing this. I am the founder of Landesy, you submitted this link and I shared your post on our Twitter account. Great post.
Thank you for sharing and thank you for the kind words. Don't get me wrong I do believe there are more good men in the world then there are bad ones.
Totally agree, a lot of people may think that this would be imposible to stop because anyone can hide behind a computer and attack you. But I think different, with the power of social media and internet you can be heard by a lot of people. Cheers!