Goodbye and hello

Most of us ended up with one and the beginning of next year in preparing new year’s decisions, setting goals, and reflecting on whether or not they have achieved their goals so far. This year I have decided to reverse some sort of order and not look at what I’m not, but only what I am. So I decided to write a letter to myself. A script that is distinctly different from those letters that I have written in my head all these past years of my life. And never wrote. If I had, it would be a letter, in the sense that you could have been better and you could be more. This year I feel significantly different. The following is a letter to me in connection with the year that is already over.

Dear I,
it’s been another year of our trip. I look forward to the next one with you. But first and foremost, I want to thank you for the last year. Thank you for every moment of which you, and when it was worst, pulled the best. Thank you to each of our fall this year, and especially for getting up after every of those fall. I am delighted that you have changed quite a bit this year. To the sky I’m proud of you because you did not cuddle when they tried to blame you because you changed. Thank you because you changed and started to make us both happy. I can not tell you how proud I am because you turned off the noise of the world and started listening to your own voice. With brave, small, but safe steps. Step by step, you’ve brought us a whole new look to the world and to life. You let yourself be happy no matter what happened around you. And you did  not have the guilty conscience about it. You have decided to look for love and joy in you first, and then ypu tryed to push them out. Well done, girl, you’re looking less and less out of what you’re starting to see in yourself. You are less observing of actions of others, and you are more careful about yours. You’ve stopped crying for every little thing in the world and ypu stared to just breath. Full of life, intoxicated with the world around you. This would not be possible if you had not, but you did, let go of all the possible worries of this world. Possible and fictitious. You turned your worries into a firm faith. Knowing that you have all the tools in you, you are born ready for any scenario of life. And you use your best tools when you’re relaxed, in accordance with life. You’ve let go of many battles. You understand how you do not want to fight, you understand how you want to live with every atom of your being. I’m proud of you because you are not focused on collecting items and property that you will not carry it with you anyway, when this journey called life is extinguished. Instead, last year, you gathered moments from which your heart spread, warmed your soul, and spread a smile over your face. Way to go, girl! You let others to live as they wish. All without exception. And you decided to take yourself by the hand and live. This year, you became a friend to yourself. You stopped being your critic. You’ve become your friend. A friend who cheers, who wiped tears and put a smile on yourown face. A friend who pushed you to face yourwon fear. A friend who took you to experience life all over again.
I have noticed that you allow yourself more and more to be imperfect, to try and to make mistakes.I can also see that you do not blame yourself for the failed attempts, but you’re commending yourself on what you’ve been trying to do. I realize that more and more you can see the good things that you’ve made in the world and appreciate everything you did. And you did alot. I see you’re not quite patient yet, but you’re moving in that direction. Nevertheless, I like your passion for life, and even of you sometime get burned by it, it is an authentic and wonderful part of you. It’s nice that you love more those parts of yourself that have given you anxiety in the past. In the past you have blamed yourself because of your feelings of everything and everyone, now you appreciate that part of yourself that gives you those feelings and that those who mind them, may never even experience it. You have been so much last year. For many things you will never get a public recognition, but you do not even need it. All you have is in you and that’s what no one can never take away. Climate, government, religion can change. People around you can change. And you are changing. But what you are and what you feel remains like a hologram record in the imprint of your soul. And, o boy how you inriched last year with it.  Turning the story. From the story life is suffering, to the story life is the game. From the story life happens to me and I’m powerless, in the story I’m living my life and I’m powerful. But, power is no longer important to you. Nor is the knowledge in whose hands it is. You have realized that every breath, the beat that is given to you, is a miracle. Which you want to feel with every atom of your being. You have realized that life is in this one second, unburdened by the past and deprived of the future. You remember how you have the wings that carry you around the world while changing faces and landscapes. While all of your essence is contained in a single point, called now. From that every second of your life you choose who you are. And I notice how you made chosces last year, what you did not do before. You choose to be happy and you chose to be joy. I admire you for that. But know that I loved you even in those moments when you chose to be something completely different. Because I love you completely, with everything you carry in yourself. I look forward to our next year’s travel calendar that already started. But you know that my calendar means nothing to me. I choose you now, over and over again. I’m proud of you, because you’ve started listening to me and stared to doubt yourself less and less.

Thank you, I love you.


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