Indeed, who imposed on us that we were born incomplete, that we should seek our whole life for that one person, who keeps all the answers to our questions and gives comfort to our suffering?
Do you really believe that you are not complete, that you cannot breathe, work, and live without the other person? Snap out of it, it’s just fairy tales. You as an individual are quite sufficient and strong to survive alone. Far from it, it’s nice in two when everything is right.
But the other person cannot change you, make your flaws go away, transform you into something completely and better. You are the one who chooses to change and how much, and you don’t do it for others, but solely for yourself.
Why then suffer because THAT person did not come to your life? Will the world fall if that person does not come, will you stop breathing, working and eating? You will not. You may be a bit sad because you are told that you cannot live alone. But you will not die. Why do not you get the best out of it, if the happy end is not in sight yet?
Why not enjoy yourself, love and appreciate your time and hobbies?
Why not create your own world, where only selected few will enter and share it with you? There are no magical formulas in relationships, there is no truth that applies to all of us.
The truth is that you are complete as the way you are, with all your faults and virtues.
Another person who needs to get into your life, the one who you desire to come in, will not be the answer to your questions or yours alter ego. This person is quite different from you, a person who, like you, struggles with your own shortcomings and dreams.
A person who cannot answer your questions because they are also still looking for their own answers. And that is something you need to accept urgently and change your belief system.
The other people are not here to get in line for us, or to help us find what we want or need. We must be the heroes of our own life, grow and prosper.
Through all the experiences and relationships, we have passed, we certainly build ourselves slowly and discover that we are not permanent, we change as the wind. We have been created to experiment until we establish firm attitudes and foundations and find what we are and what we want to be.
And the others, they are there to walk along side with us, so that we will always leave a trace on the others and they on us, be it positive or negative. We are here to experience this silly, colorful life. No more, no less.
Relationships should be perceived by differences, and should not be started for necessity, loneliness, or material security.
Relationships should be such that you want that person, you know that they are different and you have no intention of expecting it to be what you aspire and vice versa.
Because you do not need a twin, you do not need a copy.
You need someone who reminds you that you are wonderful, that you are exactly what you should be.
And then when your thoughts, desires and attitudes will collide and cling to the clumsy ground, you will appreciate it because you fell in love because you are different.
And what connects you must definitely be pure respect and sincere love. It only exists when you discover your colors when you realize that you must be the best partner and the best version of you, learn to accept yourself, so that others may well know you are worthy of love.
When you find this person, they will be happy to share your world with you, but at the same time will appreciate both you and your freedom, individuality and different goals. Do not accept anything else because you are sufficient and you are completely complete.
Mischievous Words by Marta 
This is so well written, brilliant post!
– http://www.theordinaryblogger.com
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I truly connects with this post, this was such a helpful read. Thanks for sharing.
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What a great post and so true! You should be completely self sufficient and happy in your own life before you bring someone else into it.
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Totally agree! It took me 28 years to realise this lol xx
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Well it took me 26 years. But the most important thing that we realised.
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Great post and it’s taken me a long time to realise this. I have a boyfriend who I love dearly but I’ve got myself into a bit of a rut of feeling incomplete without him here and not being able to function properly. It’s something I’ve been working VERY hard on changing!
Jenny
http://www.jennyinneverland.com
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I hope you change this. You are an amazing person all by yourself. It is a greatest feeling to love and be loved by someone, but we do not need to forget who we are in that love. We all have our own personalities and we all have thing we enjoy doing. If our partner dosent like to do things we do, that dosent mean we should stop doing them, it just means we should do them by ourselfs. My hudband dosent like to dance, but I do, so I dance alone or with girl friends.
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I love this. I even mentioned it to my sister who is currently in love with a bit of an a**hole. She doesn’t need to settle for him, she needs some one who will celebrate her and actually cares about her and her family. As for me I have someone wonderful but without him I don’t know who I am – it’s something I am working on everyday. Thank you for this post.
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This is a fantastic post and exactly what I needed to read right now, thanks for sharing Marta! I’m recently single and went through a bit of a phase feeling down and wanting to find a replacement boyfriend. I’ve now realized being single is fine, there is so much I can do on my own and I enjoy it! I’m hopeful that the right person will come along when I’m ready but I’m not going to worry about it too much at the moment. Brilliant post! ❤ xx
Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com
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I am so happy that my post is something you needed to read. I think the problem is that sometimes we do not know who trully we are on our own. You are an amazing person by yourself. Funny, smart, full of color. Always be like that.
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Amen! I agree with this post 100%. I went home this past Christmas holiday season and my dad was like “So, where is the boyfriend?”. I don’t need one, I don’t want one. I am ok with myself. I never really think about having one or need one. I have male friends but that is all I need.
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This is so true and beautifully written. So many of my friends get upset because they don’t have a partner yet but there really is no rush. You can thrive on your own completely fine and don’t need a partner to succeed in life, though it is nice to share life with someone when the time comes.
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Perfect!! I find being single freeing!! It took me years to understand it, but you can not excpect someone to understand and love you if you don’t understand and love yourself. Once you are there…then is the time…if you want to, you can get into a real lasting relationship. Well writen!
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yes girl, preach! I completely agree with this. I think when I was younger I had more of the mentality that I wasn’t whole and needed someone to make me whole. Definitely not anymore. I think I am whole by myself, and while someone can definitely make me a better person and push me to continue to be my best possible self, that doesn’t mean that they complete me xxx
Melina | http://www.melinaelisa.com
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