Some people, events and experiences are here just to come, go and create a place for a new one

I don’t sleep best these days. This time it is not too hot for me to sleep, this time I just do not know if I will be able to get everything, and it does not help my regular delay “everything in the last minute”. It is fascinating how ambitious and confident one can be, yet so lazy and insecure. Looks like I was and still am a walking paradox.

But at least I’m aware. Anyway, we were and remain our own worst enemies.

Autumn is coming. A season that screams dismissal and change and at the same time screams excitement and fear in me. This year I laid off a lot, and even more build the foundations for a something new. Sacrificed much of myself for the version I am about to become. It’s one of those bitter-sweet feelings, and one of those bitter-sweet acts that just has to be done.

I remember thinking about what I wanted out of life a year ago. All I knew was that I didn’t want to stay in the position I was then. I loved my life, it was more than exciting, but on the other hand, it sucked too much energy out of my body and mind, and I simply knew that I would not last long, and that I could not go far in the future if I was able to kill myself from stress in the present.

At that moment, I decided that the least I could do for myself was to take care of myself – to surround myself with the right people, to start doing things for myself, to let go of anything that makes me nervous in my stomach… And I did.

This year I laid off a lot, but mostly people.

Some I left alone, some left alone, and honestly, I just let them go. I’m not one of those who will ask you to love her or to hang out with her, especially if I see that only the leftovers are left.

I am one of those who simply goes on with life. I love myself too much to deny myself growth by chasing ghosts from the past, or repairing something that can only be patched. Of course, I wasn’t always like that, but who cares about the past when the present is all you have.

They say that some people only love you as you fit into their molds, but it’s not bad, it just sounds bad and cheeky. Aren’t we all like that after all? Of course we will not associate with someone whose views we disagree with.

Of course, we will not over-associate with someone who only remembers gossip, competitions and proving to an imaginary audience if we ourselves are more focused on growing, peace and pursuing our own lives instead of others. Of course, we won’t even get too hung up on someone who just tells some nonsense about growing, peace, and pursuing our own lives instead of someone else’s if we are more focused on gossip, competition, and proving ourselves to an imaginary audience.

Because these two types of person are simply incompatible, and neither fits into the other’s mold. Neither will feel comfortable in the presence of this other person.

Maybe their molds matched in the past, but that was in the past, and the present is still all we have.

So it’s better to let people leave if they want to leave. Who knows what’s in their head, who knows what wavelength they reach. That’s why it’s better to go if you feel that this is no longer it and you’re not on the same wavelength.Because staying in a relationship that makes you nervous in a stomach, in a relationship in which you fail more than you grow, cannot end well.

Only those who do not love themselves enough can take whatever “love” is offered to them, thinking that in doing so they will fill the void in themselves, without seeing that it makes them more empty.

Not accepting the fact that only change is constant, and that some people, events and experiences are here just to come, go and create a place for new.

But…

There is no new without releasing the old.