It is time to forgive and move on

Last few months were one of those intense, stressful, overflowing drama, big egos and a need for power. It all resulted in one major exhaustion so I spent most of this week sleeping and reflecting, resting.

At the same time, I said goodbye to one big page of my life, which resulted in a wide range of emotions. Sadness, joy, weight, relief. Most relief because no matter how hard the parting is, I feel it’s time to move on, into some new life challenges. It’s time to find and open some new doors, get out of some new comfort zones I created over the year.

But this is not another story of partings and new beginnings. This is another cutting story.

Being impressed by all the things I mentioned before, there was only one thing on my mind. I’ve had enough. I’m sick of other people’s and my own dramas, I’m sick of bitterness, I’m sick of being negative. I’m just tired.

I’m tired of watching what I’m talking about, I’m tired of having to watch how I behave and how I talk, I’m pretty tired of being careful not to step on somebody’s toes. I’m tired of thinking about who loves who and who does not love. I’ve had enough of my guilt towards people who hurt me back there in 2000. I’m sick of someone else’s guilt towards people who hurt them back there around 2000.

It’s time to cry out, scream, and just go over some things, and move on. To new beginnings.

I don’t want to carry past spirits with me in new beginnings, and neither do you, believe me.

Because to be honest, your guilt and resentment will hurt you a lot more than the person causing it. How hard it is to have to always be right, keep staring day by day, keep your head high just to be powerful in someone else’s eyes, while actually breaking down into simple factors.

Tell me do you need this?

Is it worth missing out on the chance for inner peace, or the chance to just relax and have some fun without having to prove yourself to someone because of the bitterness that poisons you day by day? Is it f***ing worth it?

Tell me, what do resentful people look like when you look at them through your eyes? Funny, don’t they? Why do you think you look different in someone else’s eyes as you cope with your disguised anger?

Okay, they hurt you, and now what? Not the first, but not the last. That’s life, and no one said it would be fair. And maybe it’s fair. Maybe it’s just your karma.

And even if it’s your karma, now what? You will survive this charge like you have survived all of the changes that life had for you until now. And maybe life just wants to prepare you for something bigger and better, but you can’t get to something bigger and better if you’re still struggling with the past.

Then choose to be bitter. Then choose to have a big ego. Well, then choose the restlessness instead of peace.

Everything will come back sooner or later, and the best you can do is not revenge. The best you can do is simply forgive and move on. I know it’s hard, and I know that forgiveness sounds like an act of weakness, but trust me, forgiving and moving on can be the hardest thing in the world. And yet the much needed thing if you want to stay sane.

So I’ll say it again – cry it out, yell, scream, get angry, forgive, and love. Cut off everything you don’t need from your life, not only the people who are stopping you, but also your own emotions that are stopping you. Let them out. Do not bottle them up in side.

Not for others, but for yourself and your peace of mind.