As good as your intentions are, people very rarely want to hear the truth

They need a cellophane, they just need it and that’s it.

My husband found me crying few days ago. The tear goes after the tear. Out of anger, of course.

-“What’s the matter?”

-“Nothing!”

– “There is something, what is it?”

– “Let me not explain myself. It will take seven years until I can explain my current emotional state, which will pass anyway before I can explain it. “

-“Good. Then let’s do something constructive. “

Ten minutes later, he has a moment where he raises his voice and swears at a family member. (not to me, he got a phone call) Not because he is an awful or bad person, but because his higher intelligence impulsively responded with the best of intentions, with the intention of helping. Out of speed, he did not put the “tactics” wrapper, and the opposite happened. The message he wanted to convey was not only not adopted but not heard. We were left alone in the room.

– “Now I’m a jerk. It was not my intention. Exactly the opposite.”

– “I know. I understand you. Now you know firsthand why I was crying a while ago. Because a situation like this happened to me. Which seems to undo all the good that I’ve been trying to do until then. We’re two jerks in the room now. “

– “I understand.”

Intelligent people swear more often, are often tactless, often do not know or use their intelligence well and are often misunderstood. There are too many attachments in this sentence “often” and that is not good. Therefore, I will argue that intelligence is now a curse rather than a blessing. What to do now? It needs to be transformed into wisdom. To take advantage of its strengths, to counteract the weaker ones. So, as good as your intentions are, people very rarely want to hear the truth. Especially impulsively spoken. It needs cellophane, it just needs it and that’s it.

Have you noticed easy is to sell anything to people if it is wrapped in exquisite “cellophane”?  You just have a need to yell at them, pull them by their sleeve and say: “Do you even know what you are buying? You are buying trash with a good story! ” Come on do it, what are you going to turn out to be? You’re going to be a jerk again! Instead of turning your intelligence into wisdom, let’s say you’re learning how to become a good marketer. Wisdom, then, is the key word.

Have you ever been in the company of someone who you asked what your particular piece of clothing looks like or do you have something between your teeth before going public? So you got the answer: “Alas, dear, that dress is perfect for you. My heart, my love, you will lend it to me. It’s such a phenomenal piece of clothing, and you look like Heidi Klum in it. ” Then you cried for five days, because all the possible photos showed you looked more like a drunk Christmas tree than a fatal Heidi Klum. So, the person who sent you out there looking like that may not be intelligent, but she’s wise. You may be intelligent, but you are not wise to think that you got an advice from a friend.

What to do? Nothing, look in the mirror, trust your own judgment and reconcile with it. Related to intelligence, shape it into wisdom. There is no other. The original definition of intelligence is “adaptability” anyway. More often “bite the tongue” or curse in the woods, far from all. Don’t waste yourself where you already know it doesn’t make sense. It is aimed at construction rather than destruction. Of course, for a successful and happy life, emotional intelligence is much more important. But on that topic a second time.