Putting yourself first is far from selfish

Of course, I do not mean the view that the whole world must revolve around you in order for your fragile heart to survive this cruel and cold world.

That is selfish. And a bit lazy. And very immature. And a little more selfish.

We should respect each other. Respect others’ needs, other people’s desires, other people’s goals and priorities, but we must also respect ourselves. Of course, we must be prepared for certain compromises, but we must also be prepared for those compromises that we make with ourselves, those that we have promised ourselves. Because if we were just giving and not asking for anything in return, it would be the other extreme.

Even “searching” here sounds wrong to me. If you have to look for someone to respect your life views, goals and needs, you have long been the wrong person. Run headlong, sister. Run away as soon as you feel you are doing a trifle against your will, just so that the other one does not break his fragile heart. It is as if your heart is not cracking until you are filled with that stupid and ugly feeling that something is wrong.

That’s what I’m talking about. Energy does not lie.

F**k all those coffees you go to just because, and all those people you make friends with just because. And all those empty conversations and phrases you can’t listen to. F**k those who just want the best for you, so they give you empty words. You live your life and even if you screw up, it’s still your life. It will be your problem. Your lesson. F**k those who don’t understand you. Let them think what they want. They are entitled to it. They have the right to free speech. With every attention you just feed them, you don’t want it, believe me. They didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve to focus on what’s bad for you either.

F**k everything that stops you from being your own.

Set standards, go from person to person and just label them “You are for me” and “You are not, bye bye.” Anyway everyone is labeling everything, so here’s another label for them to add. Not everyone is for everyone anyway. Anyone who still does not know, return the movie a few years back and watch it this time closely. Just so they are not offended the next time someone doesn’t like them.

I tell you, put yourself first, because it is far from selfish; it is necessary for happiness, for quality of life. That you didn’t accidentally feel guilty because you decided to stay home in your four walls instead of being with the team outside. Do not feel guilty even if you told someone that you were not interested in his problems, or if you said no. Do not feel guilty even if you cut someone out of your life even though he did nothing to you because again, energy does not lie.

Keep your energy and your peace more than any connection.

People come and go, you live with yourself for the rest of your life. With some people you are more fortunate, with some less. With some you click more, with some less. And that’s all right until you lose yourself in others.

That’s the worst thing that can happen to you.

Everything else is transient anyway.

9 thoughts on “Putting yourself first is far from selfish”

  1. Self care is definitely VERY far from being selfish. You can’t give from an empty glass – and if you’re allowing everyone to have a drink from yours ‘just because’, then you most certainly ARE going to wind up running on empty!
    LOVE this post! Thanks for sharing honestly!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish more people understood that caring more about yourself does not mean you do not care about other people. It seems selfish because other people are not getting what they want from you no matter how much it hurts you. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is definitely one of those societal constructs where we’re made to perceive anything for our own benefit is selfish. But of course it’s not. It’s integral for us to be able to get up and go everyday.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I completely agree with this, sometimes we spend so much time trying to make everyone else happy that we put ourselves completely aside until we burnout or end up in a funk, we have to take care of ourselves first and our mental health, to then assist others

    Liked by 1 person

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