Are feelings a new taboo?

For a relatively long time, I’ve been thinking about what to write today. I had a bunch of topics in my head, a bunch of variations of one and the same, but you can’t write something ‘because it may not be extensive enough for a column, you can’t write something’ because you don’t want to hurt certain people, and you can’t do something because you don’t know how to express your feelings. You may know how, but you don’t know that they will understand you. Especially today.

Today we are afraid of feelings more than hell. Maybe not all of them. But those ugly ones for sure.

They put us in the molds of a society that does not always have the best perception. Maybe it’s up to Instagram where everyone lives perfect, censored, filtered lives. Maybe it’s uncertain and then they teach us that we can’t be any kind of person. It may be the toxic relationships that have taught us to close ourselves because it won’t get us anyway. ‘ But the fact is that it is rare today to talk about feelings, and that may be exactly what we need most.

We live in a world where so much is expected that sometimes its greatest success is not to pity. ‘ Some expect you to marry and have children by the age of 25 because that is normal. Others expect you to focus on education and careers because that is their normalcy. The third is expecting both of you and you to still live healthy, keep an eye on your diet, maintain a social life, exercise 5 times a week, have at least 428 hobbies, and keep it all normal. See you in the madhouse, my friend.

And then there are some who expect you to be your only self and listen to no one but your heart. That’s what I’m saying to you, and I’m behind it, but sometimes it’s really hard to stay your own in a world where everyone is fake. It takes tremendous strength to remain authentic in a world where everyone wants to mold us into our own mold, and we are not always strong. Far from it.

If someone tells you that they are never sad, that they are never insecure, or something, they are probably lying to you, and maybe lying to themselves. Maybe he does drugs too. He may have reached that highest level of nirvana. I’m joking. Maybe he’s just scared because realistically, sometimes I’m scared to say what I think and feel.

I’m scared because you never know who you’re going to run into or in what mood that person will be. One will tell you that you are hard and he is not interested in your problems, the other will tell you everything will be okay, the third will tell you that you are stupid, the fourth will not understand anything you said, the fifth will think you are a madman, the sixth will get mad at you for spoiling his mood with “your nonsense” and so on. Eventually, the twenty-fifth will understand you completely, but by then you will have lost hope and will not even talk to him.

You can eventually go to a psychologist, but then everyone will think you’re crazy. So help me God.

But then again, if you still talk about your problems, your feelings, maybe that will help someone else to accept, to get confirmation that he is not crazy, that there are people who are struggling with the same problems. Maybe you will give someone hope to speak up and put out what is bothering him, and I think it is very important to throw out whatever is poisoning you.

It’s just that few people seem to realize that. Or he doesn’t want to understand because of the fear mentioned earlier. You will regret it because some boyfriend did not reply to the message or how miserable and sick they were while having fun or because Rebecca did not want to say hello to them the other day or because someone there confronted them about difficult things so now one has to gossip about it behind their back. And yes, okay, it’s an unpleasant experience, but why not talk about things that really cause annoyance in situations like this?

Why don’t people want to admit that such things are affecting them because of their own insecurity, desire for attention, need for intimacy or what ever is bothering them? Why do people think it is the end of the world to admit to yourself or others such things?

I have long wondered why some people blame all other people for everything wrong, but I think the answer lies in feelings. They can not come to terms with them. They can’t accept them. They don’t want to admit that they may have a problem, like everyone else on this planet, and that it’s nothing terrible. The only scary thing is that such people will not understand even people who have no problem with having problems, who have no problem being who they are. Then, too, such people begin to lose hope, because fighting windmills after a while does not make sense.

I do not know.

Maybe I’m right, and maybe I’m not. I am just thinking aloud.