You know, I’m your friend and not your ‘life preserver’

The morning began with the pain of the printer. That damn little HP bucket I bought a few months ago is constantly having some of its ‘episodes’. So I set everything aside and started googling the printers. It’s time to find one that will last at least until the warranty expires. (I know it’s funny but it’s really not, believe me.)

In the meantime, a friend whose calls and messages I’ve been ignoring for days, called me. She made me tired. Many of them have bored me with questions, requests, but she went to extremes, because … … at some point you get fed up by being someones shoulder for wailing all the time. And about the problems that aren’t really that, which she constantly creates herself, because it seems to me that she just loves drama. She enjoys it.

While my fingers are stained with color and I glance at the printer’s bin and think about the pleasure it would take to literally throw it out the window, I realize that in life we always have exactly what we grow on the inside.

If we are drama – we are living drama. If we are cool – we have peace.

The printer won’t fly out the window because I don’t want to get anybody hurt, but it goes to the trash, and I’m going to go to a printing store and pay for printing.

I hope you are hunting the point, because I come to it, I promise.

Drama exists while we feed it, while what we see as a ‘problem’ is constantly recounted, constantly flowing from the hollow to the empty, without changing anything. Sometimes I get the feeling that many friendships, or indeed any other relationship they have in their lives, are perceived as their garbage can. They are disturbed by something and the first thing on their mind is to grab a cell phone and shake on someone their quasi misery.

And okay, sometimes you really need someone to listen to you, sometimes we all have a problem we can’t solve, or it’s just not possible right now, but often, all these ‘problems’ are really just a constant hunger for drama.

My printer has no salvage, I tried, disassembled it, changed the cartridge and realized that it obviously came with some factory defect. I could take it for service, but in the end it’s cheaper to just buy a new one. I will not sit at my desk and cry for three days because it has broken. That’s just pointless, isn’t it?

Many of our problems are literally like these small, broken appliances. Solvable. And very easily.

Then why do not many solve them? Because they honestly don’t want to. Just like my friend. Just like many other people I find no time for. Not that I can’t find the time. I just don’t want to.

At some point you get tired of trying to be a good friend to someone who is not a good friend to himself. You get tired of trying to draw what is obvious. You get tired of waiting for people to watch, to realize how much they eat themselves and how much of it they actually have nothing to do. You get tired and quit.

It’s not that you don’t care anymore, you just don’t see the point in always being there, at their disposal, for someone who, even though you did your best to give your best advice and support, go home and do their own thing again. They will return to its well-trodden track called drama. And tomorrow he will dial your number again, seeking the advice he has already received.

There will be déjà vu in your head. And very bad, with a bitter taste.

The person on the other side of the wire will not be angry with you and your silence, not really, but at themselves. Because he actually knows what he’s doing. He knows the solution, but refuses to reach for it, because it seems difficult.

In fact, the solutions look big and scary, or at least the last steps, but the truth is, they are easy because they bring peace. The constant spin in the same vicious circles of drama is what is difficult. That’s what I could never do because I wish myself well.

That’s why the phone rings and I’m not answering. The messages are coming and I am not responding.

It’s not bad, it’s just a sign that I refuse to be a part of someone else’s bad script, I refuse the role they intended me for because I don’t play in a bad third-grade movie.

People treat us exactly the way we treat ourselves, so if you are not comfortable in a story, get out of it, you end up owing nothing to anyone at the end of the ballad. You only owe it to yourself.

A broken printer in the trash, as well as bad relationships.

You will realize that you have done yourself a favor, but you have also done a favor to that person because you have made her think and do something for herself.

People sometimes have to be left alone to realize exactly how deep they are. As long as you throw them a life belt, you are actually helping them sink even deeper.

I decided to drink coffee while googling new printers and thinking that life is simple and that everything is really very easy, if you just slightly change the angle you look at it, if you just change the dipterous a little.

All blurry, it suddenly becomes crystal clear.

And all the solutions are sometimes ‘Just a click away’ or one ‘Halo’ less.

4 thoughts on “You know, I’m your friend and not your ‘life preserver’”

  1. Yes I totally agree and have had people like this in my life. It takes a certain amount of courage to say enough is enough…but can be very cathartic!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I really enjoyed reading this post because it’s so relatable! It’s unbelievably draining when people don’t want to help themselves & I’ve found myself having to step away from friends which make me feel like this… Thank you for sharing something to personal, it’s a welcomed reminder that I’m not the only person who experienced this.

    Pixee xo | Thats What Pea Said

    Liked by 1 person

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