If I'm a bitch because of these things, so be it!

If I am a bitch because I stand behind my views and do not let you dictate what I think, I am. It doesn’t offend you that we disagree, it offends you because you can’t control me. It offends you because I don’t fill your ego, and it’s not up to me, it’s up to you.

If I’m a bitch because I told you what I thought and what I thought was wrong, so be it. Maybe I was wrong, but at least I said so. At least I didn’t smile in your face and hold a figure behind your back.

Watch what you say, choose words, they may not receive the best.

I will not watch. I have been careful enough and it has led me nowhere. I’ve bitten my tongue a lot of times and I don’t have to, just so the other side doesn’t melt like it’s sugar. All I got was a torrent of words and feelings trapped within me; a torrent that cries to be let out, which eats me inside.

I don’t want to be careful anymore. People are big enough to learn how to receive criticism, and my nerves deserve more than suffering from other people’s crap and whims.

Speaking of picking words, if I had a coin for every time I turned out to be a bitch just because I said out loud what everyone thinks, I would have no end. What is it, I wasn’t exactly rewarded for it. They are the doublets who always go better, but it is their soul. Mine is peaceful.

If I’m a bitch because I’m not letting you go on mine, so be it. There are things that are sacred to me. There are people I would kill for. I don’t care if you think the same thing, do you like the same things and like the same people as me, just have respect. I respect your choices and your ideals, respect mine too. I always accept constructive criticism and opinions, but belittling is only about you.

If I’m a bitch because I don’t want to accept half things, or even those that just don’t fit me, so be it. Not everyone is for everyone, not everyone has the same standards. I have set mine long ago and they are one of these things that are sacred to me.

I always accepted people, I always gave them a chance and first met them and then judged them, but I never dragged them by the nose and gave them hopes that were not there – whatever it was and how much rejection hurt them. The truth is, I had no heart. I don’t have the heart to do this to people, to fool them so much.

Maybe because they fooled me many times. Maybe that’s why I’m so nice to people today. Maybe that’s why I have so many walls around me, and in front of the walls you have to swim the ocean to reach me.

I’m not sorry. If I had to start over, I’d do the same. I would repeat all the mistakes.

They make me the person I am today, and if that person is a bitch, so be it! She survived all sort of things, did not melt away when many would, she rose after each fall and went on, continued on and on when she fell apart most, and she believed in herself even while others did not. A very strong bitch.

If you are a bitch because you hold on to yourself, to your views, opinions, beliefs and ideals, congratulations! It might not be easy, but it is strong. Just keep going and don’t give up.

Love from M