Only when we are happy with ourselves can we only then be happy with others

Have you ever felt lonely in a room full of people? Have you ever felt fulfilled when you were alone? I did, but I also felt lonely when I was alone with myself, and I felt alive with others.

Now some will say that in the first case I was just with the wrong people. Sometimes I was, sometimes I was not, but what if both situations are with the same people?

What if our happiness does not depend on others at all but on ourselves? What if I told you that we must first find happiness in ourselves in order to experience it with others?

You feel empty, right? You have everything, but again you don’t. There’s always something missing. You have a roof over your head, you have friends, you are healthy, you may even be bursting in business waters, you have everything you need for happiness, but that’s not right, right? You’re still not happy. There is still a void.

What are you doing? You try to fill it with other people. Looking for new friends, all of a sudden you want a boyfriend, now you have remembered that you are missing out on love in life, forcing yourself and others. And has anything ever gone well forcing? Hah, it’s not. Things are as they are, and they come best when you least expect them.

True, you are missing love in your life, but love for yourself and then all other love. What you are doing now is transient anyway, what you are doing now is like breaking a glass, and you just fill in the cracks instead of replacing it.

You fill in people who raise your ego to at least feel power if nothing else, and people who treat you like a princess to get at least your attention, and people who are just for the fun of feeling alive for at least a moment.

But life is not just fun and you won’t always get the attention you need, and you won’t always be powerful. Certainly not if your happiness depends on others. He who gives you happiness can easily take it.

But no one can take it if it comes from you.

No one can offend you if you are happy with yourself. No one can nail your mistakes if you are aware of them and know that you are working on them. No one can use your flaws against you if you have accepted them.

As long as you are happy with yourself, you are not worried about anyone’s status or appearance, because you know it doesn’t make a human. You don’t even seek love on every corner because you are aware that it is better to be alone than with anyone. After all, you value yourself too much to give anyone access to your heart. While you are happy with yourself, you are not bothered by gossip and you are not worried about what others are doing, your only concern is how to improve yourself even more.

If you don’t find yourself in the last four sentences, it’s time to find yourself. It is time to find what really makes you happy and what is apparent. It’s time to find out what you really miss and what you just think you need.

Because only when we are happy with ourselves, only then can we be happy with others. Only then can we create the world according to our own rules.

20 thoughts on “Only when we are happy with ourselves can we only then be happy with others”

  1. Love this post so much and relate so much. As the great RuPaul says “If you can’t love yourself how in the hell are you gonna love someone else?!” Self love is so important. Thank you for sharing. Emma x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love this post! Very good advice! I think this is why many people find love when they are not expecting it. They are loving life, and loving themselves…and it shows!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ahh this is so true. Nothing good ever comes out of forcing something to happen. I find that the best things happen when you just focus on being the best version of yourself, and I think learning to enjoy your own company is such a big part of that. Great read!


  4. So true! Loving yourself first is important. It might sound selfish at first, but after a while you will realize that you have to take care of yourself first before you can truly take care of others. After all if we are not happy with ourselves how can we make happy others or how can we even expect others to make us happy?

    Liked by 1 person

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