None of us is obligated to justify our actions

It’s Saturday, I’m hungover and I can’t think. I don’t go out that often, but when I go out, I go out. There is nothing half-hearted about me, that is both a blessing and a curse to me. But never mind, this is not a text about my hangover. I don’t even know what it’s about yet, but it’s not about the hangover.

It is also true that in recent months I have not enjoyed writing so much and it bothers me a bit. On the other hand, I am really looking forward to returning to learning because I will finally have some useful commitments and I will be productive. I died of boredom and introspection this summer. And it’s not clear to me how something so free and creative isn’t so much my taste anymore, but I’m looking forward to the commitments.

But that’s the way it is. Many times we don’t even know why.

In fact, I learned in college a long time ago that it is natural for us to love order and structure. Both in the world around us and in the world within us. We change opinions just to avoid an imbalance in the head. To make it clearer to you, imagine that you are in love. And now, let’s say that person wears a rosary around their neck, and you don’t like it while people wear a rosary around their neck.

In short, chaos has arisen in your head because you like that person, but you don’t like the rosary. Those thoughts are in conflict and it bothers you. You have two options to get into balance; you can decide that you like the rosary around the neck after all or that you don’t like that person after all.

We make such decisions on a daily basis and many times completely unconsciously because we are programmed to strive for balance.

Maybe we are contradictory because of that, maybe we are not consistent, maybe nothing is clear to anyone, but – none of us is obliged to be accountable to others and justify our actions.

No one has to figure out why you like this one and not that one and why you like it less today than yesterday. No one has to figure out why you don’t hang out with someone you’ve been with before or why you hang out with someone who didn’t suit you before.

No one has to figure out why you changed jobs or retrained. No one has to figure out why you might have given up a better paid job and agreed to a lower paid one. No one has to figure out why you changed your dressing style or dyed your hair a different color.

You don’t have to justify to anyone why you don’t like it, why you’re sad, and why you’re happy.

My favorite people are the ones you can directly say that you don’t want to go for coffee because you just don’t want to. Those people who will not take it for evil, who will not continue to persuade you and who will respect it. No unnecessary questions and analysis.

Because there are no hidden intentions other than that we want to stay in balance.

I’m currently ignoring everything around me because I’m tired and I just want to end this, go take a shower and go to bed. Some may think I’m ignoring them because I’m angry about something, but the truth is I just want to sleep. And I don’t have the energy to socialize. For excuses even less.

It came to me like that. I use up energy, pick up other people’s energies that further exhaust me, and just turn myself off to get to balance. My friends have already learned that I am just charging my batteries when I’m gone for a few days.

But yes, let me finish. The next time someone asks you why this and why that, just tell them you’re looking for balance to make it even less clear to them and that’s it.

Life is too short for excuses.

21 thoughts on “None of us is obligated to justify our actions”

  1. I agree in living the best life that we know for ourselves. In this world people will always have opinions and they have their own biases. They are only outside looking in, but we are inside looking out. And we, too, have our own judgments on how they live their lives. What’s essential is making life decisions based on what we know is best for us, and standing by our choices. Tried explaining myself to some people, but they will never understand because they have their own warped perspective on things that they are not experiencing first hand.

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  2. A very good conclusion to these thoughts – the next time someone asks you why this and why that, just tell them you’re looking for a balance to make it even less clear to them and that’s it – I’ll take it because sometimes I’m really tired explain to people the details of my decisions.

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  3. Really thought provoking post as usual, lovely. So often I know I’m guilty of trying to justify things, but at the end of the day, that’s just who I am and that’s not going to change, so why try and please other people at the cost of myself? So powerful reading this, thank you.

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  4. I hope you had a wonderful night out as it makes the hangovers worth it LOL. I did enjoy this post and love your writing and you are so right as I love someone who just tells it like it is. Why beat around the bush?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So true! I think often times we get so caught up with perception that we forget what we want and what we feel. It’s important to find that balance…to hold ourselves accountable but to remember at the end of the day, we live with the choices we make not our critics.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is such a comforting thing to read.. I’ve always struggled constantly trying to justify my actions, unsuccessfully. I’m not good at explaining myself and I”m always scared people are going to misunderstand. Thank you for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This is true.
    A lot of us expect that our actions need to have meaning or some sort of justification to them, even though there aren’t any rules specifying that.

    Liked by 1 person

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