2020, fuck off

What a year, such post.

That may have had to be a note at the beginning of every post this year, but Ok. One would think that you will have more inspiration when you are at home in peace, with yourself, but you don’t. I can’t go to coffee shop, I can’t work, I can’t go out, I can’t hang out how and how much I want to, I don’t meet people who would potentially inspire me for a post, I don’t find myself in situations I could talk about…

I may be angry at the nonsense of our overpriced esteemed governmant, but we may talk about that later.

I’m just sorry I’m not so religious as to go and enjoy Mass so that my peace of mind is thought of at this time.

But fuck, I am among all these others who do not deserve peace of mind for the holidays. It doesn’t matter that a good portion of us are deprived of money, salary, income of any kind. It doesn’t matter that you get a much lower salary if you get infected and have to be in self-isolation. It doesn’t matter that people can’t be with families for the holidays because the smart guys remembered that they could lock us up in side of our districts. Those passes come to you now as if you were trying to patch broken glass with duct tape, but okay. It doesn’t matter that small businesses fail. It doesn’t matter that there are more and more people on the street. It doesn’t matter that there are more and more mentally ill people.

All that matters is that religious get their peace of mind for the holidays.

We open churches, close cafes and let’s all go to three beautiful ones. Just so you understand I have nothing against churches, what I have problem is the fact that the churches are full of people, but I can not attend my dad’s aunts’ funeral because the limit is only 25 and her family lives in another district and I would have to get a pass to get there. On the other hand when the priest had his funeral there were 230 people ther. My friend that works at the newespaper counted all of them. But well, true, at this point probably only God can help us because those in power certainly won’t.

I was actually very excited about Christmas and the holidays. I had an attitude like “they already took everything from me, let’s at least have a nice Christmas”. But I don’t have the will for that anymore. I try all year to get the best out of the situation, but it’s like I’m struggling with windmills and it’s already frustrating.

You know how kids write letters to Santa? I’ve been good this year, I want this and that. Well, I think it’s time for each of us to write a letter in 2020 and deal with it. They say that emotions should be felt and expelled so that we can make it easier for ourselves. I’ll start:

“Dear 2020,

You were shit of the year. I wasn’t at my best either. The first two months were actually really great and everything smelled like the best year ever to me, but then you took it all away from us. That’s actually very ugly of you.

The worst thing is to give someone a false hope and then break it. Shame on you. Basically, I wasn’t as good as kids writing to Santa. Many times I thought only of myself and refused to adhere to all measures, but I am not sorry because I also need my peace of mind. I was more depressed, listless and angry at the whole world than full of zeal, motivation, joy and love. That’s why I’m sorry.

2020, you turned our lives upside down. You separated us from our dear people, took our things that make us feel alive, prepared shock after shock, threw us on the floor and swept the same with us. I think you are envied by all the greatest villains.

The villans are on life support next to you.

All I want from you is that you don’t repeat yourself again, that you bypass us in a wide arc, and that you solve your problems with yourself instead of spitting on us. I know I said I’m not the best, neither are the others, but we already have a lot of problems without your pandemics, earthquakes and floods.

In short, 2020, fuck off. “

And happy holidays to you, enjoy them as much as you can. And a little is enough in these times.