It was never about others

A man who expresses his needs, has the opportunity to be fulfilled, and thus gives a chance to others with whom he is in a relationship. Before we engage in criticism, the “final seal,” and condemnation of others with whom we interact, we must know that they are not required to read minds or have the same perception as we do.

Everyone has their own truth.

We don’t know someone as he is just because our subconscious programs say something about a person. Mostly they don’t talk about the person but react according to some memories of the person. Most often as a reflection of ourselves. What you see is what you are. In me, almost always what bothers me in another, I see in myself in the end in some unconscious form.

Expressing your needs means knowing them, making them aware. It requires introspection and the hardest thing, honesty with oneself. It requires us not to react unconsciously. This is the time to wake up.

Emotions that can pop up in relationships or communication as a “trigger” are valid. They are not “low vibe” or “negative” or similar nonsense. They tell us something, they teach us about ourselves.

Every emotion speaks of some need.

If anger erupts, it is the responsibility of each of us to step on the ball and look inside ourselves. What need does this anger point to? Or jealousy?

So before we react unconsciously out of anger and ego, and shoot something that is not us at all and hurt others who then raise walls and attack, we give space to ourselves to communicate the need to the person. And a person has a chance to respond to our need, otherwise we enter into an energy clinch that harms ourselves.

If a person can’t fulfill that need, that’s fine, the relationship isn’t compatible. But respect is maintained. First of all towards yourself. Because it is a humiliation of oneself to react unconsciously.

And we may be surprised to see that people are not so bad, and our opening up and talking in the context of needs also opens that person’s heart. Maybe we meet her in a whole new light.

We may be very grateful to her in the end because she is a mirror for which we could let go of our own surplus that we no longer need.

We are each other’s teachers.

If it is okay for someone to stay in the shackles of their programs, fine, but all “work on yourself” is meaningless and futile if it does not reflect a new vibration in the relationship. Don’t we want our true selves?

When communicating needs after we become aware of them, there is no need to talk about anything else. Because no one is responsible for our states and emotions. I feel anger when I perceive that you are doing xy because I have a need for freedom, it is not the same as I am angry because you always and you never…

This means moving from the ego to the heart when interacting, and this is not easy. But it is conscious, and perhaps only natural to organic man.

Authentic needs are not every desire that can come from a defending ego, needs are realized through emotions and connection. Some certainly have a desire to eat junk food, but that’s not a real need. The body doesn’t need that.

He who communicates his needs has a chance for people to fulfill his need and to learn about himself. And it gives a sense of fulfillment and empowerment. It gives a chance to relationships and brings the energy of truth into relationships. If we are incompatible it means that the needs cannot be met with each other, and that is fine. But freedom remains, because truth always liberates.

1 thought on “It was never about others”

  1. Yes to this post! I completely agree with everything you’re saying and we should really focus on what our feelings and thoughts are and how we put that onto others – this is why it’s so important to find and love yourself so you can be your best self x

    Liked by 1 person

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