I have never been an advocate of standing still. Even when my steps were heavy and awkward, when I didn’t know if I would go forward or backward or just let myself spin in a circle. To stand, to wait, to stumble from foot to foot, to sit with broken arms, to bite your nails and to cling to the edges of your hopes, then to cut yourself daily, to bleed, and then to indulge in that misery of waiting again, never attracted me.
I used to, though, sometimes just stop, let some pass me who were running like the devil was chasing them, sit down, take a cup of coffee and take a break. Or simply get out of a story that was no longer tailored to my soul and didn’t do me any good. But it also required some work, some engagement, some change.
Stagnation has never been close to my heart. If something went wrong, I used my fingernails and teeth, crying and bleeding if necessary, to drill some escape passage. I would argue. She protested. I pounded my fist loudly on the table but I wouldn’t give up.
We have too little time to live, let alone wait
I didn’t stay in stories that hurt and I wasn’t fooled by fables about destiny, about some threads that bind us to places and people. I have known at my core always, that our life is our choice and that we always have the opportunity to change our world. We are not trees, we do not let go of the roots. We can bond with some beauty; places, persons or emotions, but we always have both the opportunity and the right, to leave. No matter what others thought about it and no matter how much they might condemn us for it.
Life lasts in the blink of an eye. What seems so long to us, what we call decades ahead of us, are actually short pictures in which we have an obligation to experience thousands of small flashes of joy, create beautiful memories, and then go into eternity. And it really flies.
That is why it never occurred to me to convince myself of the idea of waiting, someone or something, because I realized long ago that the one who sits and waits and gives his power into the hands of another, dries up in that waiting, hope and separation.
Life is lived now. At this moment the blood circulates through our veins, the heart beats and pushes that same blood through the veins, the breath enters the lungs and expands them, we breathe, we exist. Here we are. We are alive. We walk, we think, we spin, we go, we create, we fall, we get up, we try again.
It’s a cycle, it’s a change, it’s real. To stop and indulge, to fall like a little grain of dust on the shelf of vain hopes is to consciously miss the potential of life to dry up. Who really has that luxury? Nobody. Because no one is there forever, we are all here in passing.
People withering in anticipation
I meet every day in known and unknown people the idea of living, once they meet the right person, when they lose extra pounds, when the person they hope to finally notice them, when they buy a bigger house, when they change jobs, finish college, get children, when those same children grow up enough…
There, sometimes, somewhere, when the circumstances are right.
But that is the point, the circumstances will never become real, life will never become ideal, nor will people wake up one morning and decide to live in a way that suits us.
The universe doesn’t work that way, but the time given to us will inevitably be wasted on cultivating and watering false hopes. That illusion we feed on by waiting really becomes a growing monster over the years, a hungry monster that eats us from the inside out. Never satiated, never satisfied, it eats us to the brim and we are left with nothing. There is nothing left of us, just a look back at the life we have spent waiting to actually start living.
Paradoxically, everything we wait for always comes to us, just when we stop waiting for it, long for it, wither for it. It comes at times when we move on, reach out to ourselves, and begin to step boldly through life.
Even if our steps were as clumsy as in a small child. Even if they fell. Even if it was difficult for us sometimes, it was unbearable. But we go, we live, we breathe, we move towards dreams and make them come true. If not, we discover some new ones, because by living and creating we discover new ideas, passions and talents.
Life is a change. When you look around you can notice that everything is constantly on the move. The time of year, the migratory birds, the flowers in the gardens, the time of day, the color of the sky, the phases of the moon, everything is constantly spinning, changing, changing, growing… because that is how it is conceived. Well, I'm human too, we change from birth to death.
And the seemingly static around us, tall trees, large, lush canopies and deep roots shed their leaves in autumn, because he knows that without that change, there is no awakening, no rebirth, no buds in spring.
Therefore, as challenging as it may sometimes be for me, I always chose change. Sometimes, even as a young girl, even if I tried to get around her because I thought I could go ahead and actually still stand still, the change would catch me off guard, suddenly, overnight. She was always and in everything inevitable.
The status quo and escaping into some space within us, which we call the waiting room of life, is just a postponement of the inevitable, because we are not here forever.
That is why I do not want, I cannot and I will not, and I suggest the same to everyone from the heart; don’t wait, never and nothing. No love, no jobs, no trains.
Either it happens now or it exists only in the imagination.
Either you live or you dream.
It either feels or stagnates.
Either we love or we land.
Either we build or everything we think we have collapses under our feet.
Tomorrow is a promise, but nowhere is there a guarantee that it will be fulfilled. Yesterday the notion was lost, spent and already seen. Its taste was stale and the color gray. Today, and that’s just a concept, all we have is now. And now is every moment we go to. He lives now.
Now I build and now I create, and I write and I create my universe. I love it now. And I extend my hand, whoever grabs it, grabs it. Whoever isn’t, certainly won’t see her again by waiting.
1 thought on “The truth is, in life only change is constant no matter how much they are afraid of it”
Life is a change. When you look around you can notice that everything is constantly on the move. The time of year, the migratory birds, the flowers in the gardens, the time of day, the color of the sky, the phases of the moon, everything is constantly spinning, changing, changing, growing… because that is how it is conceived. Well, I’m human too, we change from birth to death.
This QUOTE. I need to get this printed out and stuck on my wall. I feel like I’ve stood still for periods of my life for far too long. Now I’m in a better place, I’m always looking for progression and movement. Amazing post, as always
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