When you are born as a girl in this hilly Balkans…

When you are born as a girl in this Balkan (sorry to burst your bubble but Croatia is very much a part of the Balkan), you listen to lessons from an early age on how to be a good and obedient woman and how to make your man happy. This is what our mothers teach us, above all. Later, the rest of the company joins, so you can get advice and instructions from all sides.

From your aunts, neighbor, neighbor’s daughter-in-law, daughter-in-law’s sister, etc. Because you know men have needs…

First comes the fact that you have to know how to cook.

Because you can be whatever you want, professor, doctor, president of the state, but if you are a woman, you have to know how to cook, because your husband has to eat. They also sell us that shabby trick that love enters through the stomach.

So if we don’t cook well they won’t love us. And what else to do, roll up our sleeves and practice well. For God’s sake, how do you live in a marriage without love? And only later do you find out that your culinary skills have nothing to do with anything, with love in the least.

The second rule is not to nag.

Men do not like nagging. When he comes home from work, greet him with a smile, ask him if he is tired, if he needs anything. It doesn’t matter that you had a terrible day, that you are tired and that you can barely stand on your feet. When he turns on the couch, takes the remote in his hands and throws the dirty socks next to you, you take them away with a smile and don’t nag at all. You will upset him so he will go to a bar to seek solace for such a bad and unreasonable woman.

And third, most importantly, be at his disposal whenever he wants you.

It doesn't matter what you do, and what your hands are up to your elbows in the dough, when your husband approaches you, right away, right away, meet his needs.

Is it possible for our mothers to teach us this? Men, men and only men. They have needs, desires. We women are robots and the burden of marriage and life we need to carry on our shoulders. And if the marriage accidentally fails, the woman is to blame. It’s always the woman’s fault.

And wouldn’t it be much better if mothers advised their sons on a successful marriage rather than daughters? Didn’t our mothers mess up in those counseling sessions? Why, for example, do they not say the following to their beautiful dear sons: When you see that a woman has a lot of work to do, get up from the couch no matter how tired you are and wash those bloody dishes without her telling you anything.

She will know how to appreciate it and reward you for it. Throw the towel you wiped on in the laundry basket, not next to the basket. You can’t throw socks where you can. It is known where dirty socks go. Don’t let the days when you’re free, a woman spend in the kitchen, you on the couch.

Take her to some nice restaurant. Take a walk with her. Buy her something. Play with the children so that she can have coffee with her friends during that time… And a number of other things men should learn before marriage, not women. Because if a woman is happy and content a man will be too. Not the other way around.

Dear mothers, please spare your daughters advice on how to make their man happy.

Because their role in this world is much more important than the role of a woman of a happy and contented man. You better advise them how to make him make them happy because obviously no one taught him that. Dear mothers, your daughters, even though they are women, have needs. They have both heart and soul. They are not robots. And while they can handle twice as much as him, they don’t want to.

Dear mothers, have you not read fairy tales, daughters are born to be princesses, loved, pampered and cared for. Not to serve a man and his needs. I believe in fairy tales and I will teach both my daughters and sons to believe. I will teach my daughters to be princesses, and my sons to be brave knights, princes, soldiers who will do everything to make their ladies happy. Only in this way will the world be a wonderful place where everyone will live happily ever after.