Be a nice wife, so shut up and suffer! – with this attitude, women kill women

There were moments when I was younger, when I acted very impulsive. Something would hit me, most often some injustice and I would react, heartily, energetically, not always in the right way, but with my heart definitely in place. It used to be too much for people, they would be angry with my reactions but they would still provoke them, they were amused by it. And then, as it always happens, I grew up somewhere along the way. I stopped getting angry at every little thing, realizing that I had no power to change the world, but only myself.

The provocateurs on duty began to thin out, and those who would resist my changes remained lurking in the backyard so that maybe somewhere, one day, they would be able to pee in the sore spot and cause the broken cancer to pinch again.

But they failed.

The little, heart cancer in me, the eternal fighter for justice has chosen for himself the battlefields on which he can win battles. And those that are really worth guiding. I left the arenas where I fought weirdos, provocateurs, petty souls and opportunists and stopped my desire for the betterment of every dog and cat, to be an entertainer on duty.

People do not like different from themselves

I realized that justice is a double-edged sword and often depends on how someone interprets it. Also, I have learned that many people do not like energetic people who are not afraid to stand up for what they believe in, because their attitude and courage, often provoke other people’s weaknesses and unwillingness to stand up for themselves.

This morning I read a comment about how strong only a woman is who quietly struggles with her problems, one who is humble in her pain, one who does not think only of herself. I sensed from which subconscious program that misconception came and I was equally sure that whatever I wrote to the reader who left that, she certainly believed the well-intentioned comment, nothing would really help her see her attitude from a broader perspective.

So much, especially for us women, is this attitude that we are selfish if we think of ourselves, that we will both consciously and subconsciously sabotage ourselves, and even hate ourselves if we put ourselves first.

Family, relatives, society, the wider and narrower environment from childhood teach us that we must be subordinate to the welfare of others, family, husband, children, parents, brothers, friends, neighbors and relatives… continue the series, to truly believe that we are not worth, that we are arrogant, selfish, rude and complacent if we are better to ourselves, at least for a moment, and God forbid all our lives.

But even on a plane, they teach us to put on an oxygen mask ourselves first!

To be silent and suffer in order to be humble is, in my opinion, not a strength but a weakness. It is a painful and quiet dying, after years and years of silent suffering and shrinkage in yourself it is very bitter because neither anyone hears you, nor who cares about your pain and the chaos you deal with.

To be silent and be seemingly dignified in your pain, actually means to be tempted and not to allude to the existence of problems, not to remind the environment that problems exist, but to be humble and quiet, so that the whole world can wrap itself in the illusion that there are no problems.

Shut up the victim, push the problem under the rug

That is why victims of violence are attacked, humiliated, called out and silenced.

That’s why the system doesn’t change, because why would someone who made a mistake be held accountable and fired? He bore the consequences of negligence and omission. ‘We also have to think that he has a family,’ say the masses naively. ‘We must be silent.’ – persistent advocates for life under the stone are persistent.

And so we are silent until the next problem, until the next death of an innocent child and a helpless woman, who in her humility, imposed by force on her, was silent while her drunken husband beat her to death and thus exhaled helplessly.

She was humble, quiet and dignified in her pain and ended up three meters underground.

So thank you, God save me from such humility.

That is not strength for me. Silence and suffering is a weakness of the worst kind when everyone turns their backs on you and convinces you that there is a problem in you because you have been abused.

‘You are not strong if you say you are strong.’ – was the attitude of my dear reader.

Sorry but I disagree. We need to have a lot of guts to face all these misconceptions of society, deep in our bones, flesh, spirit and small, gray, cells, so we dare to say – ‘I can do it. I’m strong. I left this and that behind. I survived. ‘

Personally, I want to hear such women. Strong women. I want them to tell the world what they went through and how they grew out of it. The world needs them, the world needs its warriors, our society needs its warriors. Our society needs more women who dare to scream, and much less timid, flowery, women without attitude and loops, who are “gentle, dignified and humble.”

I’m tired of those little, floral women who are a symbol of femininity, motherhood, and quasi-angelic symbolism. I have the impression that in their efforts to curb any change and prosperity they are often really harmful. Although, they very likely firmly believe they are doing well. To benefit someone from their “conscience appeal” when it comes to prescribing contraception. Or when they pray in front of hospitals and “walk for the life” of unborn children, firmly turning their heads away from crowded orphanages and thousands and thousands of cases of children left on the street, parental beatings and a system that doesn’t work by many items.

Often, in many of these small, tender, and seemingly fragile women, there is much malice. These are the ones that say to the victims – be quiet.

Those who say to their terrified daughter, who was beaten by her husband – how will you leave him, what will people say?

Those who tell a raped friend – shut up, don’t report, it’s a shame.

Those who undermine, sabotage, gossip, dramatize, blackmail with tears, with a large neon, screaming sign above their heads “I am a woman, a mother, a queen, a great sufferer” and radiate that suffering, deafening the world around them and the people they come in contact with. And they actually hate other women. Especially the brave, loud, persistent and unwavering ones. Those who do not agree to be part of the black chronicle and bad statistics.

A strong woman is initially characterized as a hater of men and everything moral and chaste. They declared her lewd. She was given various labels.

All in a circle always the same moves, the same people and learned ignorance.

She was told that neither she nor her strength were desirable. She was told that it was a hindrance, that she deviated from the norms, that she usurped space, all in order not to “corrupt” all the other female family and perhaps encourage them to think for themselves and choose to put themselves first. And not to reject home and family and all those quasi-values of ours, but to be better both as persons and as wives and as mothers and as colleagues.

A woman should be good first and foremost to herself.

She really should. She is therefore neither evil, nor masculine, nor selfish.

A woman because she is a woman does not owe anything to this society, but society owes her a lot!

It owes it to everyone it tried to silence. To each of whom turned their head from the suffering of others. To each that it devalued, neglected, discouraged, and abandoned. Everyone who got dragged through the mud!

And in the name of those women, those we don’t know about and those who are silent and suffering, and even more, those who we will never even know what they went through and how much they suffered, because they took their pain with them to the grave, never we must no longer allow anyone to say to any woman – Shut up!

Be humble.

Be dignified.


Die but don’t disturb the environment.

Well, all that needs to be shown one middle finger!

That time has passed, for the better we are paving the way right now.

5 thoughts on “Be a nice wife, so shut up and suffer! – with this attitude, women kill women”

  1. A powerful post, silence can be strong but nothing is more stronger than someone standing up for themselves and telling the world to swivel on it

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You have such a way with words! This is so powerful and so true. Women should not be afraid to be themselves or to put themselves first. If we don’t take care of us, who will? Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

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