Sometimes the hardest thing is to just stand aside and let go of everything, get out of the way. It’s hard to let go of the invisible threads of the illusion of having control. It’s hard to admit to ourselves that we’ve done everything we could, worked hard to the limits of ourselves, given 101 percent, and that we can do nothing but let go.
Many times I found myself in moments when I would rather eat myself alive because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t move. Then I would just take a deep breath and pause.
“That’s it,” I would say to myself.
“I did everything I could, really everything. I turned my planet around and moved the tectonic plates trying, and it didn’t work. Maybe it’s time to leave it alone. ” – I would conclude.
Stop and step back
Relationships, jobs, desires, plans, a mass of things… big and important or the little things that played a role in my world at the time. It didn’t work and I would let go. At one point, I would just put my hands on my lap, stare at them, and then grab the back of the chair, get up and walk away. From a story that didn’t evolve, from a job that went backwards, from a story I failed to write.
I would walk down the hall and walk into another story. In some space in a parallel reality in which what ate and tormented me no longer has power over me.
To let go means to be free.
And burns, for nothing.
Because if only you burn, something is wrong with that story.
A hill is a hill and you can’t move it by force, with one hand. You can dig a trail uphill and crumble from trying if you don’t have the knowledge and the right tools, and you can also try to blow up a mountain and dig a tunnel. But then you have to know that the whole mountain can fall on your head.
Sometimes, you need to sit at the foot of that mountain, put your hands under your head and rest well and then continue on your way to the goal, but around the mountain. The road may be longer but, it leads forward. It doesn’t make you stand still and die from insane attempts.
Someone told me yesterday – “You constantly leaving.”
I laughed because I realized how fiercely people cling to their illusions. Illusions about relationships, jobs, projects, yourself. They stick to them and don’t let go. They never abandon their illusions.
I am different and I know that I am strange to many because of that. I keep leaving everything that is not for me or everything that I cannot change at this moment. I leave because I realize it’s not the time for that, and maybe it’s not up to me to change either. Maybe it’s not even my battle.
It’s not easy for me to give up always. It’s not often an option for me at the start, but over time as everything rolls over and actually stands still, I realize that giving up is actually an opportunity for something new.
As long as we stand still and fight for what isn’t going on, we miss the whole universe of possibilities. New people, new stories, happiness, experiences, fulfillment and maybe the opportunity to see what we want from a different angle.
We don’t see the bigger picture so often. We think something or someone is good for us and we get caught up in it. We stick to that idea convulsively until it breaks us. And when it breaks us, it’s actually a sign that life has forcibly separated us from something that, if we had continued to persevere, might have been disastrous for us.
I’ve seen it many times. I saw it in the eyes of women who frantically tried to save their relationships and marriages with men who neither loved nor respected them and who were eventually “rewarded” for their efforts and love by deception or, worse, by beatings.
I saw it in jobs, my own projects, in relationships of close people and even some of my own experiences. Wherever it was by force, it didn’t work and it would end badly for someone.
So when I see it’s not going now, I let go. No matter how important that someone or something is to me. No matter how much love and effort has been invested. No matter how much the heart is torn from the realization that it doesn’t go any further and that somewhere, that someone of mine or my something and I, we have reached a point, a line, a border, a parting.
It hurts, because if it didn’t hurt it would be a sign that we are not humans but machines. It hurts because part of us is tied to it. We are tied to the time we have invested, the love we have given and the idea that something big and unrepeatable will emerge from it.
But if it wasn’t born, then it is, no matter how rough it sounds, just an idea.
There is no easy way
Few people know this, but when I started this blog, after the initial few months of take-off, months of stagnation came. There came a moment when it seemed like I was going to have to suspend the project because there was no money to push it further. Then I sat down and said to myself – ‘Okay, come on, accept that stupid job, even though it’s not what you want and you’ve just gotten rid of one like that, but you need it. You need money. ” and so I accepted first one job I didn’t like, but I did it the best I knew and later the second and third, until I managed to find something I loved along with everything else I adore.
I didn’t give up on the project, I gave up on the idea of going head to wall.
The problems didn’t go away when I started, new, different ones came along. Covid also came and made my business twice as difficult. It forced me to give up on the original idea of what and how I would do and what services I would provide within my blog and social media.
A lot of times I was mad at myself. I let go a lot of times because there was no time and there were no favorable circumstances. We did not pass the mass competition because – the state and theft. There were also times when I thought I would have to give up Mischievous words.
I did not let him trample me, break me, or be dared by my own stubbornness and going to extremes. I let go, turned to something that was going on at the time even if it didn’t bring god knows what money.
And so even now I let go every time it doesn’t go and when there’s no going forward.
I let a vacuum be created in which I can come up with new ideas. I give myself space to experience something new, to experience everything from a new perspective, to be surprised by life and people and to surprise myself. Because every time I step back, I realize how much I can do, what I can do, and how there is a road over or around the mountain that I haven’t seen before.
To let go means to have confidence in a higher power, in God, in the Source in the Universe, in something you believe in, and to surrender your burden to Him in order to show us the way. The road around that damn mountain that caused us so much pain and around which we broke so many times.
Trust also means readiness for something new, good and valuable or for what we had left at some point because it wasn’t going then.
Trust means a new beginning.
And it paints us and our lives with new energy.
Because yes, “I’m leaving all the time.”
I am leaving because I am giving myself space to return stronger, better, more experienced and ready for something new and for climbing over the mountain.
In the end, it’s not a matter of giving up, it’s a matter of trying again, at the right time for everyone involved in the story. As Einstein said – “You can’t always do everything the same way and expect different results.”
1 thought on “Do you know how to quit on time?”
Beautiful post. I have a really hard time with letting go. I am the time that will hurt myself because I’m stubborn. Thanks for the reminder to rest and relax.
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