Several times I had a dream that does not change its essence with a few changes. I dream of living in a small apartment, which has three rooms. The first room I use is the kitchen with the living room, and the second is the room where I sleep.
My guests come, and I try to reorganize the space so that everyone can be comfortably accommodated, so that everyone can have more space.
Third room – a window to the world
What I persistently forget or simply ignore is the third room. Room that is modernly furnished, with a door leading to the terrace. The specificity of the terrace is that the terrace has no fence, but leads into the world, without fences, without hiding from neighbors, other people.
The apartment is on the ground floor and the terrace is wide open to everything that happens in the outside world. But I keep closing the door to that terrace, not looking back at the third spacious room. A room that gives me all the possible space in which I would easily receive guests and in which I would have more space for myself. Not!
And what do I do? I redecorate the space I am familiar with, fearing to step into a new space that gives me spaciousness, not just inside the apartment I live in, but a door to the world.
As dreams are a window into our subconscious, it is obvious that this dream, which has been repeated many times, tries to tell me that the time has come to expand, to move to other spaces. There are other rooms, a continuation of the world I already live in, a world that opens its doors to the inexhaustible possibilities of life.
Awakening of consciousness is happening, only it takes nights for the dream to give me the strength to be able to boldly step towards new experiences, which will be completely different from all the others that I am already reluctantly gathering.
The beautiful one is waiting for me, the mine one
A new world awaits me. It awaits the awakening of my courage, strength, courage, wisdom. I still, even after so many years, know how to react infantile. The wounded child that lives in me by no means wants to die completely.
I want to bury all those experiences that have built me up, but I don’t need them anymore as if they are the main spice of my current life. I don’t want attachment to any resentment.
I observe people, a world full of prejudices, making a speed diagnosis based on someone’s appearance, behavior, spoken word. I naively thought that by entering the world of adults, children’s comments in which others are judged on the basis of everything, but not on the basis of its interior, also disappear.
I’m not interested in teenage comments uttered by middle-aged people. This is not my world, and the wars that these people are waging, let them wage it on their battlefield, on which those who wish to step beyond restraint and shallowness do not have to suffer.
I want to dive into the depths, to listen to what dreams, instinct, soul, the Universe want to tell me. Surrounding oneself with those who bring unrest, eternally grumpy, negative, embracing their mental and physical illnesses, making them best friends, is a death sentence to one’s own life.
A waste of time on those who persistently do not want to see our progress, hampering it with their sick static, not intending to work on themselves for a moment.
A man who does not celebrate our progress has nothing to do in our life, nor do we in his. We can nurture him in a nurturing way on which path he would be excellent or at least very good at realizing his potential. Otherwise, we wasted time.
The time we could take advantage of by stepping on the terrace that leads to a world full of possibilities waiting for us. Waiting for all of us to beautify our lives with our gifts and talents and contribute to the development of the world in which we live.
I have myself and I am important. I am important in my life, to myself. And no, that’s not a euphemism for something else. Finally slowly but surely I understand. Everything is still settling in my body cells. It grows in me, but it grows. That is what is essential in all this.
I will open the third room, I will open the door to the terrace, I will step into the world, without remorse, because the only one I leave is the old ME. It will be a journey into the unknown, but not all those painful and joyful experiences have been gathered in vain. They are a tool that I will finally know and use in the time to come.
It is a time of howling, calling for play, love, tenderness, hugs, by no means a time of static, nor of running away.
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Thank you for sharing such an intimate part of you!
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