It’s hard to admit it sometimes, but it didn’t happen because it didn’t have to

“Of all that could have been, in the end it will always be what it had to be.” – said Andrich a long time ago, and while listening to a cheerful song, which celebrates the ends and new beginnings, I concluded that things always happen, but they do not happen when we want and fix it, but when it is time.

Be it beginnings or ends. Be it love or travel, be it a new book and a song and a job…let everyone think about their desire, their will and their struggle to make it happen at all costs.

All our fixations

We have all at least once in our lives had some crazy idea that we will succeed; to win just that person and convince her that her place is right next to us. To get just that job, to travel to that very destination that very summer, to accomplish something impossible just then, at that moment and burn out for that desire, often along the way burning and burning out of wanting and killing yourself in the notion.

And so that moment would come and go and nothing would happen. And that person didn’t want us and we didn’t get that job and that something didn’t happen and the world didn’t fail. And then somehow they would let it all go, leave it behind and move on, forgetting the insane expectations and fixations about place, time and person.

And paradoxically, with the past, that person would come to us and offer us a similar if not the same job and open the door for which we used to burn a lot, just to realize that none of it we want more and how happy we are to that’s exactly what it didn’t accomplish.

Look at things from a different angle

Just a little step back when you make it, you realize that you’re struggling with windmills and some crazy fixations and that it just makes you an unhappy creature. And that no one and nothing is worth the sleepless nights and the circles around the eyes.

No person who sees how much we are worth, no distant destination we dream of and which is a challenge to visit right now at the time of the corona, when there are so many beautiful places in our neighborhood where we can experience beautiful adventures and the most beautiful vacation ever.

Well neither that job nor that collaboration or promotion is worth it to jump out of our own skin when there are always other opportunities, other companies, other collaborations and millions of options to make extra money.

It’s not worth it. And when you allow yourself to look at things that way, you realize that you are no longer a slave to them, they no longer have power over you.

Maybe love and desire to be with someone are the best example, maybe this is where we learn the most about how much it is not worth wasting your life, attention and time on someone who doesn’t remember us, whose choice we never are, who is there when there is nothing better, but in moments when we want and need it, it is not. Who uses all the benefits of the relationship but does not invest in it, who does not love us. And we don’t need to get all the best from us, because only someone who will give us the same deserves it best.

Things happen when they need to.

Relationships. Jobs. Travels. Raises. Collaborations. Personal successes.

Not before, not later, but just when they need to and when we are ready for it. When we are ready to accept all that and see it realistically and not pay so much attention to it.

People run after us when they realize that we are important to them, but we are no longer here for them every day, but we are heading in the opposite direction.

They remember that there was someone here who loved them, who cared for them, helped and of course, someone to whom they were something valuable and special.

Remember, everyone notices. But only those to whom we mean make sure that we do not go too far, where they could no longer catch up with us.

Remember, everyone notices. But only those to whom we mean make sure that we do not go too far, where they could no longer catch up with us.

The others, the ones who let us go, they just do us a favor and give us space to see how many more amazing people everywhere there are who will be happy to be here, just as we will be happy to have found them.

Right people meet at the right time.

We will never meet those who are wrong for us, not really. And that’s fine. This is exactly what Andrich wrote about, wanting to tell us that we cannot connect with what is not ours, which is not part of our spirit and which would in no way allow us to grow and understand ourselves better.

We are here because of our experience. We are not here to be helpful to the wrong ones and to make it easier for them, although we often subordinate ourselves to other people’s happiness, comfort and other people’s needs.

We give our love, our attention, our effort and time to those who never value them the way we deserve, so instead of turning our backs on them, we give ourselves a little more. We give ourselves persistently and in large doses, until we are exhausted or until we see through.

And life is too short for giving in vain.

Life is too short to fight windmills.

Life is too precious to subordinate to burning for nothing.

Life always arranges everything so that what really needs to happen happens, not what could.

Life always gives us everything back.

Life brings us our person, if it is really ours, even if our paths diverge at the moment.

Life gives us jobs and relationships and travel and success.

Life is ours.

What is not ours, let him not even give it to us, no matter how much we twist that we want just that and that we need just that.

Let us and our ideas, let life arrange itself in its own way!

3 thoughts on “It’s hard to admit it sometimes, but it didn’t happen because it didn’t have to”

  1. What a lovely post. I love taking a different perspective even when it’s really hard. I am a huge believer in the timings of my life. When the time is right, what is due to me will come!


    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is so thoughtful and a really welcome reminder to look at things with fresh eyes. This is very similar to a quote by Rumi that I shared on a nature-themed mindfulness post on my blog a few days ago. I love how we’re sometimes nudged into a new perspective — thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

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