Why do we condemn women who have had abortions when we don’t know their reasons?

It is difficult to write about this issue, which has become one of the most serious diseases of our society. A society which, so complex and in which the unjust distribution of good and evil is in many respects the cause, is a woman’s decision to have an abortion.

One of the most difficult decisions

Numerous women will say that this is one of the most difficult and painful decisions they have been forced to make in life. Many of them bravely recounted their truths and their reasons for abortion; from finances, pressure from partners, parents, risk of dropping out of school, threats of dismissal, rape, fear of motherhood. Whatever the reason, the point remains the same, we must not condemn them. We must not call them names, we must not insult them, gossip about them with a dose of disgust, revulsion and contempt.

Everyone can find themselves in this situation

Especially because each of us can find ourselves in that situation, because each of us has a friend, cousin, acquaintance, neighbor, mother’s friend who was forced to decide to have an abortion for some painful reason known only to herself. Because each of us is a woman who decides about her uterus and her body.

It is easy to create a moral guardian for the common good, while legislative institutions, which are mostly dominated by patriarchal attitudes of men in positions of power, decide whether abortion will be banned, whether it will be difficult, whether it will be expensive.

Life tragedies

Many women are afraid of unwanted pregnancies. With the difficult life circumstances that forced them to make that decision, let us remember the fragile minors who are still children themselves, who are condemned by their parents, who are not financially independent to raise a child.

Let us remember all the raped women and the traumas that prevent them from sleeping because of the muffled scream they carry inside. Their pregnancy remained as a painful reminder of the monster that ruined their lives.

Remember the women to whom the bosses at the job interview, formed the question of whether they intend to get pregnant? Which are under threat of losing their jobs if she becomes pregnant.

Let’s remember women who have two or more children, a job and a lot of responsibilities that barely get to breathe.

Let’s remember the abandoned girls who were told by boyfriends and partners that this child was not theirs.

Let us remember women who live with abusers and for whom abortion may be a salvation if that child does not experience the same hell as them.

Let us remember all women whose health is in danger and who risk their lives by giving birth.

We do not know what is hidden behind other people’s doors when they close, so let us nurture solidarity with all women who live through an uncertain everyday life and live from today to tomorrow.

Empathy and improving conditions

Let us not point a finger at them, let us not condemn even women who have had abortions. There are many reasons. Improving the world and life is not in moralizing but in making an individual and collective contribution to reducing all these causes that lead to abortion. To improve social, economic, educational and health living conditions that would encourage the birth of desired and happy children.

And let us remember that banning abortions and making them illegal does not lead to a reduction in the number of abortions and that every miscarriage, even in the wanted pregnancies, that happens for ever reason will lead to a women being investigate for murder to see if it was intentional or spontaneous and if the women could have done anything to prevent it if it was spontaneous. Let us also remember that men will not be held accountable for anything in those cases. Let us remember that abortion bans will in a large number only affect low income women and single mom’s, because those who have more money will be able to do them in countries where there are allowed.

Be kind and mind your own business, because ultimately is their body, their choice and you have no say in their life.

6 thoughts on “Why do we condemn women who have had abortions when we don’t know their reasons?”

  1. This is a very tricky subject to talk about. So many women have had to make that decision and there isn’t enough support for them to recover from the trauma. Most of us has to hide in shame for years before we can even discuss it. Thanks for the post!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am pro-choice and fully support all women being able to decide what happens to their bodies. It sickens me that this is not the case in many countries and that there are people who think they can force someone else to live by their rules. If someone doesn’t agree with abortion, don’t have one, it’s that simple but leave the women who do want one alone.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. abortions are fundamental rights that women deserve. we cannot let our governments take control of our bodies and make these extremely personal choices for us. Thank you for raising awareness about this!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is such an important post – and it’s so sad that this still has to be said! We should never judge a woman for having an abortion, it’s her body, her life and her decision. Thank you so much for sharing x

    Liked by 1 person

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