Don’t expect anything from anyone but yourself

Sometimes we have very high expectations of some people. It’s a habit we all have, some more and some less. We think that our partner must support us in everything we do, we expect that our family will solve all our problems or that our friends will be there whenever we need…

However, by having too high expectations of those around us, we can become selfish and make them feel obligated to fulfill all of our desires. In this way we restrict their freedom, when in reality we ourselves are the only person from whom we should expect all this.

We spend most of our lives “expecting something”: we expect what we want to happen, we expect people to behave in a way that is consistent with our opinion of them. However, we are not fully aware that “expectation” is sometimes synonymous with “wanting,” which implies a little manipulation on our part.

People who are a part of our lives, in fact, should always act in complete freedom and according to their will. If they do something for us, it’s because they want to do it from the heart and it’s good to be grateful to them; but if they don’t, it shouldn’t worry or haunt us.

We should expect everything from ourselves: we must be able to solve our own problems without anyone else having to do it for us, we have to face our fears, instead of projecting them onto others.

Dangerous power of expectation

Expect nothing from anyone but yourself. Maybe this statement must have seemed exaggerated to you. Still, I’m sure it will remind you of some situation where it perfectly describes what happened. We all create expectations every day that hide a certain degree of hope.

You can create very specific expectations for your partner: that he will always be with you, that he will not give up anything, but that he always has you as a priority in life. But then it will happen that summer will come and your partner will tell you how he would like to travel with his friends. Some of you will not be able to avoid being extremely disappointed, because a small part of your expectations will be broken and you will not know how to deal with the situation.

Does that mean your partner doesn’t love you? Certainly not. The point is simply that you yourself have built an overly idealistic way of thinking. In this case, the expectation involves a high risk of being convinced that something will happen, and when that doesn’t happen, your security will begin to crumble.

We all have an almost natural tendency to predict events and assumptions about others through “I hope” or “I want it”. When something goes wrong, then disappointment arises. And do you know what disappointment feeds most of the time? To the expectations and hopes to which we have ascribed too high a degree of “security.”

Never take anything for granted, this way the disappointment will be less. Furthermore, if you avoid too high expectations, you will also give more freedom to others. Expect everything by yourself, because you are the architects of your life.

Avoid certainty, accept the unexpected

We know it’s tiring, we know it’s not easy to accept that life is fickle and that those who love you today may not need you tomorrow, that those who support you today may not think the same way in an hour. How to deal with all these daily uncertainties?

Maintaining balance and remaining the backbone of your life, because you are a person you should always be able to count on. You are the one who has to solve your fears and fill your gaps.

Do not delegate this task to anyone, do not turn anyone into a slave to your expectations, forced to solve your problems.

Let them love you freely and without obedience, let them do something for you only if they want to; and if not, do not punish them and be strict with them, let them do what they want. And you behave as you wish, learn to move the world with confidence and maturity, building your own happiness while respecting others. Expect everything from yourself and live in harmony with others.