Be the change you strive for…

I love people who come to me and try to convince me that my way of thinking is wrong and that I live the wrong way and that everything in my world is upside down. I love them because in two of their sentences I hear how many complexes they carry within themselves. And I know right away who didn’t love them when they were little, whether mom or dad or older brother. I immediately see that they were not popular at school or that the their parents did not support them. And I feel sorry for them.

And why is that so? Because they are essentially asking for help, they would like to change on someone else what they cannot in their life.

And I really don’t care how anyone lives and how they look at the world. We are all born with our head on our shoulders so while we have it we can choose our paths. And no matter how much someone tells me I’m wrong or my life isn’t right, it’s not going to change anything. I chose my path. I know that I cannot change the world, but I can change myself, but only when I feel the need for it.

There were times when I wanted to please everyone. When I wanted everyone to love me. And I realized – fuck, it’s a damn hard job, mission impossible in fact. What do I need? And at some point I stopped. Satisfy family and friends and neighbors. And that’s where it broke.

I was no longer “That beautiful girl from the neighborhood, that good friend, that golden girl.” Because I no longer played by their rules, I chose my own. I grew up. The number of “friends” quickly thinned out. And half the family got mad at me. They were trying to fix what was suddenly wrong. But nothing was wrong, everything finally fell into place.

Parents often think that they can control their child. They think that they can prevent us from making mistakes, from getting hurt, from trying out “wrong things” and coming across “wrong people”. But they can’t. If you keep a bird in a cage and never let it out, it forgets to fly. And once the cage opens and she is left alone, she dies because she could not fly away and find food and shelter.

So does a child, he has to go through both beautiful and ugly things because at one point he just has to be able to go to the white world. Parents cannot keep us forever for the simple reason that they will not be with us forever.

And no matter how “wrong” it is at some point in our lives we have to distance ourselves from everyone and say NO. I will not play by your rules, I will not dress like this, talk like that, shop in this store and wear that hairstyle. I’m not going to be a clone of someone or something just because you and the one over there and some left across the street think I should.

You are free to think that still, but I will not.

I will not do a job that you think is good for me. I will not live in an apartment because it would be cheaper or nicer for you. I will not hang out with this and that, because they are “popular”. I will not, because they are completely different from me and I have nothing to talk to them about.

No – because I have the right to say no and I have the right to be different.

One famous writer says on his blog, that the world has not changed.

It has, I am changing right now, you who are reading this is changing it, so is the one who plants potatoes on the other end of this globe. We all change it, only everyone changes it in their own way and that is more than fine.

3 thoughts on “Be the change you strive for…”

  1. This is so interesting to read, I struggle so hard to say no in all walks of life. Even though I’ve changed the way I think slightly since having my son, it still gets to me if I’m being left out or not the one that people would go to for advice or just a chat xx

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s