The conversation I had a few days ago, I could not convey to you even with the best will and effort. Not because I couldn’t retell it, because I would. But simply because it would seem scarred and not at all true.
So I won’t even try!
What I force myself to do, somehow in life, is to try to learn something and get a message out of every situation, no matter how sad, happy, unreal, irrational or even stupid like this. So after the initial shock, tears or euphoria, I add up and ask myself:
So, Marta? What did you learn this time? Empty chatter aside, what’s the point? Message?
What I would like to convey to my children one day, if I had learned from the above-mentioned conversation, is that a good opinion of myself is extremely important. Both for mental health and for successful functioning through life.
We all evaluate our actions. We compare what we are and what we are like with what we would like to be.
Everyday ups and downs affect the image of yourself.
Some people are self-critical. They blame themselves, they think they are incompetent, stupid and worthless when they fail. They are more shy and insecure in their actions and decisions, than others.
And that’s fine. You should not be ashamed of that.
Others are more confident. They do not associate defeats with their abilities. They find excuses and excuses for every failure. And that’s also okay.
Everything is fine as long as it is within the bounds of common sense.
It is okay to question yourself and your flaws, but you should also be aware of your virtues.
It’s also okay to be confident in yourself, as long as you’re working on your flaws.
Self-confidence has nothing to do with real human qualities.
Good and intelligent, and insecure, quiet, inconspicuous and withdrawn people, may have lower self-confidence, than the extremely naughty and incompetent.
An equally incompetent and evil individual, of low intelligence, can have high self-confidence.
Some of the worst people in the world, had an extremely high opinion of themselves. Look around you! You will probably recognize in many incompetent, evil, and not overly intelligent people, those with an unlimited dose of self-confidence.
People are not judged by their performance. Presenting yourself. People are judged by their deeds. Labor. I’m glad. Persistence. Empathy.
You need to have faith in yourself! A healthy self-confidence needs to be built. But self-confidence without a dose of self-criticism grows into an unhealthy ego.
And that would somehow be the message of the story.
Self-confidence greater than one’s own abilities cannot bring anything good.
It can only cause irreparable damage.
People with such “qualities” need to be taught to recognize. They do not need to be “fixed”. They should not be contradicted. to explain. You need to get away from them!
1 thought on “When self-confidence grows into complacency”
I completely agree with you. Those who have the highest opinion of themselves tend to be those we shouldn’t be looking up to all all. Having self confidence is great, and we all should have self confidence, but when you go overboard it’s not nice to witness.
LikeLiked by 1 person