– It seems to me that he had a girlfriend then, when he was with Maria, I said with a laugh, remembering an acquaintance and my friend.
– Whore, he answered atypically and vulgarly for him.
– Who?
– Well, Maria.
– Wait, is it possible you’re such a jerk? Why would Maria be a whore who was with him as a single girl, and he had a girlfriend and did not tell her?
– And what would you do if a girl was all over me?
– What do I have to do with her? The question is what would you do?
***
All the dullness and limitations of our society fit into this desperate conversation. He, my ex boyfriend thought my friend was a whore because she was briefly in a relationship with a guy who had a girlfriend, hoping that one day she too would be the one. Even if she hadn’t hoped, why would she be a “whore” in that story. If nothing else, they are both equally guilty, and he never mentioned her.
And he’s not the only one. He was just a prime example of what most people think.
As far as I’m concerned, any woman who thinks she can, is free to confront him. I’m not jealous. Somewhere at the age of 17, I overcame that trip in my head that another woman is to blame if a man doesn’t respect and doesn’t love you enough. If you love and respect someone, there is no “whore” who could lead you to cheat on the person you are in a relationship with. And you cheat that term too. Well, that’s the only thing you’re fooling yourself about. That you are good in the relationship you are in, but you long for someone else.
This problem goes so far that we are brought up in such a way, that a man is logically such a perfect being that he himself would never have done something immoral or dishonorable if there was no “whore” who would lead him to it. It is symptomatic that a woman is always the one. And when he cheats and when they cheat with her, because, for God’s sake, how could a man who was with a married woman be a “whore” and how could he actually be the one who made her be an “immoral adulteress”.
It is also sad how much we deal with someone’s honesty, while everything else is weird. It is sad how it affects us more and how we spit vigorously, and every day a woman is beaten by a bully. And here it is very often said that the “whore” certainly deserved it.
You know, like me, that you hear it every day. You know that we associate those independent and self-conscious women with the words “annoyed”, “nervous”, “bitter”, “unfucked”, “bitch”. But you know what else I know – you can rarely beat bitches. Those women who are not afraid of the epithet of whores very rarely get slapped. Those women who are not afraid to live in a world where everything is subordinated to a man and who really care what men think about them, and other patriarchal women, only they are allowed to live.
The one who will say goodbye to you forever after the first slap. The one who will wave at you after the first ugly word as she leaves, she knows that there is no thing she will do to take it upon herself to call her a “whore”.
And I am not so angry with men who are ready to restrain us at every step. I expect from them. They very often defend their “tribe” and are much more loyal.
Women make me angry. The ones weirdly and wrongly brought up. Those who spit on another woman. The ones who will call their sister and friend a “whore”.
They are our problem. It is their consciousness that will ruin the generations of those who have yet to come and live, knowing that they have an equal right to everything and that no one has the right to call them by that word that is reserved for the female gender – whore.
Mischievous Words by Marta 