“Don’t be selfish.” This phrase most of us listened to constantly while growing up. Our behavior ranged from the furious reactions we had as children who wouldn’t get a well-deserved toy to even greater disappointments in adulthood, when we didn’t get an internship that was supposed to be a springboard in our careers.
They taught us that selfish behavior is not acceptable and that putting other people’s feelings and needs on a list of personal priorities is an unwritten rule for functioning in today’s world.
When did we learn that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes? Selfish, in a way that we take more care of our mental and physical health, than of other people’s needs. I guess the answer to this question is different for everyone.
I personally learned at the age of 14 that selfishness is a good thing, after being the subject of bullying in eighth grade. They harassed me based on my looks, my weight, my intelligence and even my speech.
Maturing means accepting your mistakes, taking responsibility for your actions, and learning how to grow and thrive, leaving all those situations behind. At what point do we stop constantly apologizing for all sorts of nonsense? At what point do we realize that our mental health is more important than anything?
If you feel that you are being treated unfairly or you are unhappy with yourself and your life, then it is perfectly okay to be selfish.
When I woke up one day and realized that I was tired of letting other people’s opinions affect my life, I felt free like never before. There is no red light that comes on and from which we can conclude that we no longer want to be unhappy. That realization happens when you least expect it.
One day you wake up and it just doesn’t matter to you anymore except you.
You then realize your own worth, how much you deserve your happiness and in those moments you set new goals. This requires a lot of effort, but you soon realize that you spent too much time in grief, that you were a bit lost.
Suddenly, you are breathing freely.
It seems to me that there are two extremes in this society. Either individuals are completely focused on themselves or they are mats for others. Both variants are acceptable until a certain point. I want to share this lesson I learned with young people, especialy with young girls and women.
If you are not progressing in your life, if something is holding you back, get rid of it. Get rid of the bad guys from your life, situations, things. Set goals and do everything in your power to achieve them. When you leave, everything will fall into place at once.
First of all, fall in love with yourself. Make your life exciting, worth living. Once a week try to do two things for someone else and two things for your own happiness. Whether it’s buying food for someone or holding the door, just do it.
Take time for yourself, do the things you love, buy yourself what you have long wanted or go for a run. Be yourself first on your list of priorities. Even in the darkest times, there is a glimmer of sunshine, and when we all allow ourselves to be selfish for a moment, our days become brighter than ever before.
Mischievous Words by Marta 