We meet many people throughout our lives. Taxi drivers, plumbers, postmen, waiters, bank clerks, casual passers-by and then there are closer relationships: friends, colleagues, acquaintances, family.
This is a conflict that we sometimes get into, a conflict between feeling that I should be polite and feeling that I should take care of my safety and well-being, well-being, what I want (the voice of common sense).
Often, especially women, they feel that they owe the world their kindness, decency, because they are women, because it is simply expected of them…
I don’t have to be polite just because that’s expected of me!
And children are often raised to be polite, maybe more 40 years ago than they are now.
The fact that we are mostly people of good and open heart should not blind us to the fact that not everyone has good intentions, that millions of people with symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, sociopaths and psychopaths, people with borderline personality disorders who are not in institutions, but they are quite often well-disguised benefactors and can sometimes perform even powerful roles in the community.
It is not said that we will encounter such a person every time, but if we do encounter it, we will know it by the fact that such a person, when we set ourselves up for ourselves, may continue to work to meet only his own needs.
They will ignore us, call us offensive names, become overtly or covertly vindictive, and try to deceive us with the words: you misunderstood it, you are oversensitive, it didn’t happen that way, but the way I say… etc. (they do it because they want us to start doubting their judgment, intuition and decision, they use confusing tactics).
People who lead us to suppress our feelings, to ignore our perception of reality, are not good for us and do not deserve decency. Giving someone something they don’t deserve is the same as stealing from someone what isn’t ours. It is not good for us or for that other person to give her the right to act disrespectfully, because then no one will learn anything from such a relationship.
One of the best GPS systems for moving through life, especially the new relationships we carry within us and that is our intuition and feelings in our body. If something tells us that (in any relationship with anyone) “something stinks there” or that “something is not ok there” the best we can do is listen to our voice and harmonize our behavior accordingly.
Setting boundaries on time is very important. In case we feel good in a relationship, boundaries may not even be necessary.
It is important to listen to that voice within us that tells us: Do so, that’s ok! but this is not ok!
If something in us is telling us that something is going on that isn’t ok, let’s listen to it, act accordingly, set those important boundaries! Nowhere does it say that we women are obliged to sacrifice our security, well-being and common sense at the expense of kindness to a person who most likely does not deserve it.
It depends only on us, whether we will pay a few dollars and 5 minutes of our precious time for the lesson due to not listening to our internal GPS on time and the signs that are shown to us along the way, or we will pay a much higher price.
Women! Let’s make decisions guided by our intuition, our judgment, let’s listen to ourselves! Let’s set our boundaries on time, listen to our internal GPS, act on our intuition. It also applies to men. I don’t have to be polite! I choose to be polite, because that person deserves it at the moment, because he respects me. PERIOD!
1 thought on “Women! Set your boundaries on time!”
👏👏👏👏 Yes! stop teaching little girls to be quiet, polite, people pleasers. Great post x
LikeLiked by 1 person