The problems we experienced in childhood determine what the quality of our lives as adults will be.
They can also affect the way our children will adopt tomorrow as well as how we deal with adversity. Somehow, from these emotional wounds or painful childhood experiences, we create a part of our personality.
- Fear of abandonment
Loneliness is the worst enemy of those who were abandoned during childhood. There is a constant focus on shortcomings, which will lead those who have suffered to abandon partners or projects while it is still too early to do so, for fear that they will not be the ones to be abandoned.
It’s kind of “I’ll leave before you leave me”, no one supports me, I can’t stand all this “if you leave, don’t come back”…
People who have experienced the experience of abandonment during childhood must work on their fear of loneliness, fear of falling out, and invisible barriers to physical contact.
Wounds caused by abandonment are not at all easy to heal. You will become aware of yourself when the wounds begin to heal and when the fear of loneliness disappears and when it is replaced by an internal dialogue that is positive and full of hope.
- Fear of rejection
Because it is a deep wound, it causes internal rejection. We think about what we have experienced, about our thoughts and feelings.
When it occurs, it can be influenced by several factors, such as rejection of parents, family or yourself. This creates a feeling of rejection, negative thoughts, a feeling of undesirableness which leads to underestimation of oneself.
A person suffering from this painful experience feels that he does not deserve affection or understanding from anyone, and isolates himself in his inner emptiness for fear of rejection.
Probably, if you had these problems during your childhood, you will be an “elusive” person.
Therefore, it is necessary to work on your fear, on your inner fears and situations that create panic.
If this is your case, think about yourself, take risks and make a decision for yourself. You will be less and less disturbed by the fact that some people are moving away from you and you will not understand it personally, they will simply forget you sometimes.
This wound occurs when at different times we have a feeling that others do not approve of what we are doing and criticize us. You can even pass this problem on to your children, telling them that they are uneducated, rude, and naughty as if you are exposing your problems to others: this destroys the child’s self-confidence.
In this way, the type of personality that is created with this frequency becomes a “person who depends on others.” You can take the position of “tyranny” and egoists as a defense mechanism and you can humiliate others to create armor to protect yourself.
If you have had these experiences, you need to work on your independence, your freedom, your understanding of your needs and fears, and your priorities.
- Deception and fear of trusting others
These feelings occur when a child feels cheated, especially by one of his parents who did not keep his promise. This leads to the fact that the mistrust that arises from this problem can turn into envy and other negative feelings, as well as the feeling that they do not deserve what they have been promised and what others have.
These childhood problems are created by suspicious people and people who always want to have everything for themselves.
If you suffered from similar situations during your childhood, you will probably need to exercise some kind of control over others, which is usually justified by a strong character.
These people admit their mistakes because of the way they react. They need to work on patience, tolerance, as well as to learn to be alone and to be responsible for their own actions.
It arises in the context when people who take care of children are cold and authoritative. During childhood, excessive demands that transcend boundaries create a sense of inefficiency and worthlessness, both in childhood and in adulthood.
The direct consequence of those who have suffered injustice is rigidity because these people will try to become very important and gain great power. This will probably lead to the creation of a fantasy about order and perfectionism, as well as to the inability to be sure of the decisions they make.
You need to work on trust and mental strength, trying to be as flexible as possible and trust others.
Now that you know the 5 mental wounds that can affect your well-being, your health, and your ability to develop, you can start healing yourself.