A letter to someone’s daughter

I heard the mother telling her daughter…

What you aren’t

I’ll start with everything you aren’t. You are not my greatest achievement or success. You are your own creation. You are not my property. You are not my legacy. You are not my legacy in property. You are not my hallmark, medal or exhibit. You’re not my extension. I can’t even say you’re my point.

That would mean I lived without meaning before you. And that you were born a person without meaning in order to be meaningful to her. And that is not true. You are not my attachment. I do not place the burden of my happiness and fulfillment on you. Which doesn’t mean you’re not my luck. It just means you live for your happiness, not mine. You are not my channel for filling personal gaps. You are not my project for realizing unfulfilled dreams.

What are you

You are the freedom of existence. You have been given Life, and I am just someone who has had the privilege of participating in it. Life itself is bigger than you and me. Remember that well. In difficult times, that thought will ground you.

A broader picture is needed to be and coexist with others. Let the love of life be your first love. And don’t let growing up distract you from that love. You are a life unto yourself. Everything you are, what you will be and what you have been – is completely in your hands. Don’t let them convince you otherwise. You don’t need to become someone or do something to make anyone proud of you. I’m already proud.

You’re proud too. Regardless of other people’s evaluations. By your very birth and right to life, an unspeakable unique value has been attributed to you. Don’t let yourself be trapped by the fact that you have to prove the same value. You came into the world to explore. Myself and the world. You will make the election. You will know responsibility. Don’t let anyone other than you influence your decisions. Well, he’s not the closest. Turn the phrase “follow your dreams” into your intention. Oh, and you don’t have to.

Just learn the difference between living and surviving. Careful with expectations. Don’t even get yourself into situations where you blame others for your circumstances. Not even the parents. Yes, they must be wrong. But they are not responsible. You have options, you have freedom of choice. And that is a responsibility. Maybe, or surely, you will be wrong too. But with age, you will realize that mistakes do not exist. There are only schools.

Do not allow…

Don’t let the child’s fearlessness, courage and stubbornness leave you. You will need it in your later years. Don’t let yourself lose the sincerity you have with yourself. The one when no one else hears or watches. In those moments, you build and assemble. Facing yourself is the most important part of the journey. Do not be convinced of other people’s truths, but accept your own. As much as they do not fit in with others. Don’t ask for affiliation because you already belong. You belong to yourself.

My main task is to nurture the freedom you were born with. That freedom, you’ll need it later. You will need it for all the molds, standards and guidelines you will encounter. Don’t identify with the roles and identities that will be part of your journey. Daughter, girlfriend, wife, wife or mother. Do not equate any titles with yourself.

Don’t be a slave to titles. Change the chronology if you want. Change the order. Throw out what you don’t want. Create your visions.

You will listen, they will tell you…

Being a woman, you will hear a lot about beauty. They will tell you a lot about need and want. But you will know that value and beauty are inscribed on your birth certificate, and you will not feel anything less than that. Regardless of the judgment of others ’eyes. They will tell you a lot about travels and places that change you.

You will travel, you will see. What I want you to know, and more importantly even than traveling around the world, is the journey you have within yourself. Don’t forget about that trip and make sure it’s enjoyable. In this journey are hidden the insights and truths that will guide you. You will listen a lot about what is right and what is wrong with you.

That is why it is very important that, with full right, you say no when you don’t. You may witness testimonies and examples that convincingly show what love is not. Therefore, do not give up that first, childish, innocent (and, according to others, naive) vision of love. When someone awakens it in you, be ready to give it without premeditation. No calculations and no budget.

The outcome is always uncertain. Love, pain. Happiness, sadness. Whatever it is, it will shape you into richer beings. Know that love is an inexhaustible source. Believe it. Also know that the whole does not ask for halves. Know that you are a whole.

Believe in joy

Choose carefully what you believe in. Beliefs easily become the largest prisons at large and dungeons in the light. Examine yourself daily. Change constantly. You are allowed to change. Every moment is an opportunity for her. Make your compass feel good. Understand yourself and you will understand other people. Choose intentions that serve you, without harming others.

Don’t lose the bigger picture even when you get lost along the way. Let your personal reality not be bigger than that bigger picture. In all your courage and majesty, keep that humility. Keep that simplicity from the beginning along the way. Nurture joy. Dance and dare. Let fear protect you, and courage guide you.

Learn from your children

As if there were too few words and too much to say. That. I heard the mother telling her daughter. Or? Or is it a daughter who writes to mothers and parents? So don’t the truth and simplicity lie forgotten in children? Too few of them are listened to. And we are all someone’s children. Sometimes we forget that too. But how could someone who is not a parent himself dare to talk about it at all? I can’t think of anyone better to answer the question of how to be a good or better parent – than someone’s child.

2 thoughts on “A letter to someone’s daughter”

  1. you have a lot of great advice in this letter to someone’s daughter. I like how you say that they are their own person, their own best thing, and not simply dependent on someone or existing because of someone. that is what we want our children to strive for always

    Liked by 1 person

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