‘If you want something new, then you have to stop with the old one.’ At least that’s what they say and it seems so simple, doesn’t it? You turn the page and start over. Just a decision is enough. “It simply came to our notice then. And that’s it.” Yeah, a little tomorrow.
It is easy to talk about the importance of a firm decision, the relief that comes with it, and the promises of a much simpler path after that crucial moment.
No one mentions the morning later when the first review begins. No one mentions every new day and every little vibration of the heart, the trap of memories and your mind playing a game with you and persistently throwing you into thoughts you don’t want. Because he’s so used to it.
We are slaves to our habits
You have been thinking about it for a long time and your mind has decided that it is very important to you, so now it is constantly spinning the same thoughts and it takes time to allow its chemical processes to start and change your dominant thoughts.
It’s both physics and chemistry and biology and psychology because we as human beings are just so complex. And we deal with ourselves so little. So much so that we don’t even know our insides or our body, nor are we aware of how it works.
It takes a minimum of 28 days for the chemical processes within the brain tissue to begin to change. It takes a minimum of 21 days to start acquiring a new habit. Our body needs time to align with our decisions.
So forget someone overnight? Make it irrelevant? It’s not that easy. It’s not just a decision. Consistency is needed. And discipline. It takes a little patience and a basic knowledge of biology.
It’s the same thing with weight loss or any other habit we’re trying to acquire. We want, we have decided, we know it is so best but often we do not give our body and mind enough time to adjust and adjust.
We would do everything right away because we live in a time when everything is instant, everything is one click away and everything is available.
We forgot to give time to ourselves, to have patience, understanding, and a pinch of faith.
We have forgotten that when we stop and start doing something differently, we create a space where things will change. Whether it’s our emotional state or our body.
We are looking for instant solutions for everyone
That’s why titles like “Lose 10 kilos in 8 days” are comical to me, and it’s sad that someone believes in it, so they throw money at some chemistry and further damage their health. And this is because a million and one processes take place in our body to get it started and start consuming accumulated fat.
It must first receive and accept the information that there are surpluses and that now those surpluses should be spent. If we bombard him with starvation, he will quickly store some more because he is in fear for his survival. When he realizes that his life is not endangered, he will start expelling excess fluid, he will convert fat into energy and thus into brain food, and only then will he begin to lose weight. In grams.
Doesn’t that seem like an awful lot of work to you in just a few days? Yes to me. And so I personally admire the complexity of my body.
Expecting the body to do something defacto overnight is actually selfish of us. It means we neither love nor respect it, and our body is our home. He is with us for the rest of his life and serves us faithfully every day.
It’s the same with emotions.
They are our compass. They say are we in tune with our spirit and body or are we completely executed? Is our mind working against us, carried away by a wave of emotions? Do our body and our dignity suffer because of it? Are we therefore inwardly tired of the vicious circles of emotional ups and downs?
To our body, it is like riding the train of death, now up, now down, now across the plain, and then again from the beginning.
Give yourself time and understanding
My friends know how to get angry when they tell me about some challenges or love woes, so I tell them to just go day in and day out.
It turns out I don’t understand them or sympathize with them. But really, I just understand what’s going on in them, what their body and their mind are going through, and how those processes in all of us take time.
Day by day. Step by step.
Because that’s how those firm decisions really become changes.
And so it gets easier over time. The chemical process is changing and our mind is offering new patterns of thinking about things and people that are currently in our focus.
Well, we think less and less about that person, until it turns out that we rarely remember him and that he no longer causes emotion in us. There is no reaction. Our body has concluded that this person is no longer so important to us.
It’s the same with sugars that the body stops looking for overtime because it’s used to taking it from fruits. We no longer cry out for chocolate and cookies. Our body has changed its habits. It accepted our orders and had enough space and time to adjust.
Did it all start with a decision? It is. But the results are a matter of consistency and patience. That’s why I don’t believe in instant solutions because I think they provide short-term results and then all over again.
There will also befalls, because falls are part of the way
I do not believe in spite, but in understanding, first of all, myself and my needs and then other people. I believe in accepting the current situation because it gives us a sense of peace, and only when we are at peace can we make the right decisions and start implementing them.
I believe in patience, consistency, and tenderness towards ourselves on days when we feel like we are standing still or like we are going backward. I believe in small, daily praises of our own efforts and love for ourselves that we express to ourselves so that we do not resent or blame ourselves.
I believe in the power of the time and space we give ourselves on the path we set out to go. And I know that it gives results, it brings change, no matter what we decide to change and whatever we turn it to a new page.
I believe in getting up every time we fall because there will always befall. We accept them as part of the path and they are the ones who build us. I believe that those who sometimes reconsider their decisions and sometimes change them a little, but did not give up on their goal, succeed.
Because they just knew they deserved more.
Whatever decision you make at the moment, whatever you struggle with, I just want you to stay true to yourself and be stubbornly persistent in your desire to be happy.
3 thoughts on “Does the decision or the time change us?”
This is an excellent post, and we would like to say that time changes us. Without passing time, we do not make the decisions leading to lasting change. A classic chicken-or-the-egg situation, but a fun one to ponder nonetheless. Thank you for sharing! Also, check us out at http://www.rockingspecterblog.wordpress.com and follow us to see our upcoming posts.
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This was a fab post! We really are slaves to our own habit with the time it changes us enforces of the two adopt to the circumstances at hand.
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It’s so good that you included that our falls are also part of our learning/journey, etc. This was a great post — we are definitely sometimes held back by ‘what was/has been’. Very thought-provoking.