Self-destructive persons and their behavior

Why do we refuse help from people who wish us well? Why do we continue with unhealthy habits that we know will eventually cause us irreparable harm?

Self-destructive behavior

From rejecting the people we love and maintaining destructive patterns of thinking to self-harm, many times we find ourselves in “dark streets”. Growing up, we can understand how self-destructive behavior stems from low self-esteem and even self-hatred.

While psychologists speculate that auto-sabotage can be a coping mechanism (e.g. with stress, pressure, social demands, etc.), others consider self-destructive behavior as a way of maintaining a comfort zone, due to a lack of trust or a feeling of unworthiness (e.g. staying at the known bottom of the social scale).

Symptoms and habits of self-destructive behavior

Self-destructive behavior comes in many forms, some extreme, some not so extreme. But in order to continue to develop and improve your life, it is best to face your demons and look them in the face.

Symptoms and/or habits of self-destructive behavior include the following:

Holding on to negative thinking

It is an unconscious form of self-destructive behavior because it results in the fulfillment of one’s own prophecies.

Examples include thoughts such as: “I’m not going to make it, I know that.”, “I’m not going to make it out alive.”, “This is going to destroy me completely,” etc.

Lack of entrepreneurship

It’s a symptom of passivity, but it’s still a self-destructive nature.

When we know something is bad for us, but we don’t take any action or measure to fix the problem, we are actually setting ourselves up for failure.

Excessive food intake

A nasty habit that results in many long-term health problems.

Insufficient food intake

Many people who do not consume enough food are fooled into thinking that they are working out for their own good, when in fact it is usually just first aid for seriously damaged self-image and other psychological problems.

Forced incapacity

It is portraying oneself as unintelligent or incapable of successfully achieving something.

Forced incompetence usually stems from a lack of self-confidence.

Negative influence on other people

They say: “Everything is returned, everything is paid for”.

The negative influence you have on other people, whether through words or actions, will eventually manifest in your life (for example illnesses, tragedies, isolation, etc.).


An extreme thing. Self-harm is a sign of self-hatred and is destructive to the psyche and the body.


It is an unconscious form of self-destructive behavior.

Self-pity is destructive because it encourages us to remain inactive (i.e. wallow in our unhappiness) instead of taking an encouraging proactive approach to life.

Drugs and alcohol

Drugs and alcohol create endless misery in the lives of addicts, their friends, and family members.

Social suicide

A person is not always aware of this behavior, social suicide is an act of intentional alienation from the people around us.

This can occur through irritating, repulsive, or antisocial behavior.

Not accepting your emotions

Not accepting and denying negative (and sometimes positive) emotions creates a number of mental, emotional, and physiological diseases.

This is another form of unconsciously manifested self-destructive behavior.

Refusing to help

Rejecting advice, refusing to go to rehab, avoiding psychologists… all this is refusing to help, the person is shouting “I don’t care about my well-being!” and screams “car – sabotage!”

An unnecessary sacrifice

Some people enjoy their misery and that’s the only thing they know how to enjoy in their life.

Unnecessary sacrifice is a good way for a person to feel “noble” and “altruistic”, while actually covering up the real act of self-sabotage: giving up the things that truly make him happy, his hopes, dreams, and passions.

Excessive spending

It can be chronic gambling or incessant shopping.

It may seem unusual that overspending is on this list, but it is a form of self-destructive behavior that limits freedom and peace of mind.

Neglecting the physical body

Too little sleep, lack of physical activity, and eating unhealthy food are classic signs of self-destructive behavior.

Mental neglect

Denial, avoiding dealing with our psychological health problems (eg stress, anxiety, depression, paranoia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc.) delays the healing process, resulting in significant long-term problems.

Sabotaging relationships

This includes destructive behavior patterns such as jealousy, possessiveness, emotional manipulation, neediness, violence, and so on.

When we don’t feel worthy of love, we unconsciously manifest it in our relationships through selected patterns of behavior.

Self-destructive people

Self-destructive individuals exhibit conscious and unconscious patterns of behavior that sabotage their health, happiness, and a long-term fulfillment.

It is not easy to stop self-destructive behavior. It is important to remember that you are not alone.


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