The past cannot be changed or fixed, let it go

The past should be let go where it belongs. In one of the drawers of your life experiences. If you keep turning over the old pages of a well-known story, you don’t let go of the past, but continue to live it as if it were here and now.

Your past does not have to be your present, you have the right to go emotionally, cognitively, and spiritually through the process of looking into the past, but you also have the right to put it away in the memory drawer at one point.

“Why did it have to be like that?” – is such a frequent question of all people who have a past behind them, and we all have it. The past includes choices, good and bad days, and moments when you didn’t know better, only now with hindsight do you see that you could have done differently or better.

But one thing is certain, the past cannot be changed, it cannot be returned or repaired. That’s just the way it is, and the hardest part of the story is accepting it.

Through the psychotherapy process, I meet people every day and their stories that happened in the past and left a big mark on the present. Through the process of accepting all those parts of the past, you can cry, get angry, and allow yourself the disappointment, hurt, anger, and whatever comes your way.

But in time, when it all comes out, the past should be let go where it belongs. In one of the drawers of your life experiences.

If you keep turning over the old pages of a well-known story, you don’t let go of the past, but continue to live it as if it were here and now.

Let go and release!

The role of the victim often extends from what happened to you in the past to what you are doing to yourself now. You don’t give yourself peace, you punish yourself, you say unsupportive messages to yourself, and you think badly of yourself. Do to yourself what they once did to you.

It’s a place of choice… after being aware of what you’re doing, you can choose whether you want to continue like this or something else? Without that decision, there is no further. After awareness, emotion always leads to choice.

What do I want next? With that comes great responsibility because you become responsible for your own choices and your own life.

You can no longer blame everyone else for the way your life is… you have to give up the role of victim. And that is difficult for many people because through the role of the victim they would at least once get attention, sympathy, and understanding, and they still don’t want to give it up.

Along with that comes fear, how will I be okay now, am I allowed to be okay, is this life for me?

It’s the fear of the unknown and the new, and it’s normal for it to show up if you’ve been living in the same pattern for years.

Every time we go towards something new comes excitement that can be mixed with fear. And that place is gently accepted with support and is easier to survive until you get used to the fact that it can and should be good.

Because your past does not have to be your present, you have the right to go emotionally, cognitively, and spiritually through the process of looking into the past, but you also have the right to put it away in the memory drawer at one point.