Violence in the family – cancer of our society

Violence in the family destroys a woman who suffers various forms of abuse, harassment, blackmail, abuse. It destroys her, her children and leaves traumas for life. Statistics show the cruel reality that every third woman has experienced some form of gender-based violence.Why?

Because she was brought up to be silent, to behave nicely, and not to answer to her father, brother, and later her husband. Because she was taught to be submissive and subordinate. Because she was taught to be an exemplary wife and mother, to tolerate all her husband’s whims, follies, outbursts, deceptions, and slaps. Because maybe he believes that it will stop, that he will change. If she gets better. And if next time lunch is as spicy as he likes.

Because he, the bully, has a psychological monopoly over her. It is used for all kinds of blackmail and manipulation. He threatens to destroy her. And he won’t stop there, he will take her family and friends with him. They will take away her children. He might kill her. There are not enough words to describe the horror experienced by victims of domestic violence.

What awaits her if she reports violence?

She is expected to be condemned by society, which will support him. Police interrogations are waiting for her to describe in detail her behavior in marriage. Examinations and evaluations are waiting for her, are there any scars, are there any bruises, does she have evidence that she was abused? Accusations await her that she invented everything. She faces punishment, not him. If he is arrested, he may serve a month’s detention. At best, he can be sentenced to three years in prison.

This is one scenario, in the other, she is economically dependent on him, and she does not have a permanent job because he convinced her that children are a priority and that he will take care of their joint happiness. Economic violence is a huge problem and one of the reasons why women stay married or in a relationship with an abuser.

This problem has its roots in patriarchal upbringing, in which it has long been the rule that sons inherit family property. A victim of domestic violence has the choice to go to a safe house, to hide, to run away with a feeling of fear and shame.

No means NO!

It is important to emphasize that domestic violence in most cases also includes sexual violence and rape. Very little is said about it. Namely, every unwanted sexual relationship is rape, regardless of whether it happened on the street or within the marriage union. Family violence entails psychological violence, which, according to psychologists, leaves long-term trauma. Feminist experts recommend psychological help for all victims of domestic and sexual violence.

Abusers walk freely in the streets, posing a danger to other women, while victims have to take shelter in safe houses. This is how our patriarchal society works.

Violence is not a private matter

In a psychological context, reporting violence means victory. Women who have suffered violence through this act stop blaming themselves and remove the stigma of “shame” imposed on them by society. They are ready to face the abuser, the court, and the whole world to say that violence is not a private matter and that violence against women should not be tolerated. Many women reported violence with a strong message not to repeat it. Many shared their suffering and this motivated many girls and women to talk about their repressed fears and anxieties.

No beating in upbringing

It is necessary that society must be educated. Both girls and boys should be brought up in the spirit of tolerance and without gender discrimination. The sayings “The club came out of heaven” and “He who fights is loved” and their applications must be eradicated. Only a healthy and reasonable upbringing and approach of parents toward children can prevent the horrors of all forms of gender-based violence.

*To the 13 women who were killed this year and to the 6500 who reported domestic abuse to the police in 2022