If something is hard to watch, it is a person who with all of his/her best efforts is trying to become something that he/she is not. It’s even harder when you’re the person himself.
Well, let me get right to the point… The truth is, you are not perfect, you are not the best, you are not the most beautiful, you are not the smartest, you are not the youngest and you are not the happiest, but no one in the world is you.
No one survived the challenges you endured, no one has the scar you have, no one fills the same flaws that fill you up, and no one has the same nightmares that keep you awake at night.
No one has exactly the same talents as you, no one has the same big heart as you, and no one is happy with exactly the same things that make you happy.
And as soon as you start comparing yourself to others, or act like someone you admire, whose company you want to fall into or like, that very moment you begin to lose because you consciously reject your uniqueness, and it is your uniqueness that is your greatest asset. That same moment is the moment you stop loving yourself.
Why? Here’s why. You get it in your head that you have to be something that you are not just to please someone out there, or society in general, and okay, you start acting ‘according to their standards and norms, befriending who you want, everything is great and so on. But what happens when you show your true face? Can you be sure they will stay with the real you?
They probably won’t, and it’s not their fault at all because you chose it. You chose your standard to be something superficial instead of something quality just because you thought you were not good enough.
You choose to think you’re not good enough just because someone else has a better car, better vibe, better style, better apartment, better crew and I don’t know what not. And just about everything I wrote means you don’t love yourself and you don’t believe in yourself.
I’m telling you firsthand. I have not always loved myself this much, I have not always been this relaxed of others’ opinions, I have not always been so ambitious and enthusiastic, and I have not always been as happy and pleased with myself as I am today.
I knew I had to change my perception the moment I realized I was unhappy. And it was a very painstaking process. At first, I lost a bunch of “friends”, then I was “alone in the world” for a long time, but it was this loneliness that brought me everything I needed because for the first time in my life I got the opportunity to get to know myself. And you know what? I realized that I was a f**king awesome person.
I also realized that I didn’t have those flaws I have, I wouldn’t be such a great person, because they were the ones who built me into what I am today. I also realized that I was the only person I ever needed to compare or compete with.
That’s why the only comparisons I make today are when I look at how much I’ve grown over the years. What I care about is whether you are better or worse than me, you are not me and you do not have the same story as me, just as I am not you and do not have the same story as you. I’ll support you and try to figure you out in any case, but I won’t compare myself to you because I love myself a little too much.
Want to compare yourself to me? Well you can. You can also say that you are better at everything, you can also insult me if you feel that way. That’s not my thing.
But you know what? You’re a great person too. You may not be a great person to who you want to be, but you don’t need someone like that.
Take the time and get to know yourself, it will get clearer.
It will also be quite liberating.
And who doesn’t love freedom?
4 thoughts on “I love myself too much to compare myself to anyone”
I’m in a similar place. I lost some friends because they really didn’t build me up or support me so I moved on. It’s hard not to get into the thinking of this should be different. But, seasons come and go. I’m making an effort to build something better! Hope all is lovely in your world. 💙
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This is so true and it is absolutely great advice, especially for younger people who are still trying to conform to society’s expectations of perfection. Of course people of all ages need to be reminded of this! Thank you!
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I am in a similar place to you. I have always been my own person, I don’t compare myself to anyone. Sometimes, I have looked at others and thought “wow they have it all together” or “they are so lucky to have what they have” only to see their worlds fall apart and realise what they were portraying to world was false. Embrace your uniqueness. Love yourself, it is truly liberating x
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That’s such a beautiful blog! Loved it! And I too believe that comparison leads to unnecessary disappointment which can be avoided at the first place.
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