In a world of unrealistic expectations, allow yourself to be human

For a while now, I’ve been watching everyone have some tips for success. Everyone just copy paste wherever you turn. On social networks, on blogs, in articles, everywhere. Find motivation, work hard until you succeed, don’t stop, don’t look for excuses, always be optimistic and believe in yourself.

These are really nice tips.

But no one says what one has to go through to reach that nirvana and the level of self-belief and optimism. It is not enough to write ‘goals’ on paper. It is true that one must find motivation, but one must first find oneself, and in order to find oneself one must first break down into pieces and then return part by part, and throw some parts in the trash. It’s not comfortable and it’s not quite at the same level of ease as writing goals on paper.

Keep trying until you succeed? Hear, what if life just wants to tell you that it’s not for you so it persistently puts obstacles in your way? Not all obstacles are there to strengthen us, some are to divert us. One needs to know when to leave and when to keep trying. It’s not all that black and white. Life is 50 shades of gray. I wanted to write now that without the sadomasochistic scheme, but that could be discussed.

Even that personal growth could be classified as masochism when I think about it a little better. We consciously and intentionally trade and put ourselves in awkward situations just to feel better and heal ourselves as stronger people. Who’s normal and who’s crazy? I do not know. The line is thin.

It may actually be better to be crazy because they say that madness is on the thin border with genius. Well, at least you’re a genius if nothing else. You are not average like these copy paste life advisers transcribing tips from Pinterest. Literally.

I know that one tip, you have to work like a horse for 5-10 years, just that from morning till tomorrow, you have to wake up at 5, you have to do this, you have to do this, I don’t know what not to do. Basically, if you give your maximum for those 5-10 years, you just have to succeed, you have to become rich and after that you can just relax and travel the world.

All honor if someone can do it both physically and mentally, but behold, I would go crazy after 2 weeks and not even meet that fortune. Best of all, I am a person who loves to work and finds something to do on a daily basis; there are columns, marketing, I organize events, I give speeches. There’s always something to do and it’s great for me because I love what I do, but it’s also great to take time for myself and get away when I feel like I need to. I think that is why I have remained so normal in everything.

Okay, I see mild antisocially as a result of overworking with people and mild apathy as a result of listening to drama and watching people compete and argue with themselves, but I say sort of normal.

But to get back on the subject. We live in a world that is already full of unrealistic expectations. From what we should look like, what qualifications we should have in a CV, what kind of people we should be, down to what life in general should look like, how old we have to get married, and so on. Let’s not create the pressure ourselves that we must be rich and successful by the age of 30 and that we must always be optimistic.

You can’t always be optimistic, you can’t. I am a person who really complains a little bit and who just grits her teeth and does whatever it takes, I can say that I believe in myself and it all stands, but come on, please. We all have moments where we are not our own, in which we doubt ourselves and all our decisions, and that’s okay. It makes us human.

Do not accidentally think that it is not okay if you are not ok some days and you really can’t find the motivation just because some copy paste Pinterest consultant wrote there that successful people have a glass half full. So who cares about glasses. I am only interested in the glass that is full and that empties when I drink whatever it is in.

Allow yourself to take time alone. Allow yourself to refuse that coffee you don’t want to go for. Allow yourself a day just to lie in bed and do nothing. Allow yourself not to be okay. Let yourself be wrong. Allow yourself to love yourself in imperfection.

Allow yourself to be human.